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I need you to check these sentences for me on Prospero and Caliban. I'm not sure about the tense choice (can you say that)?

1) Caliban hopes that they both Prospero and Miranda get drenched with a dew as evil as the kind his mother used to collect with a raven’s feather from unhealthy swamps.
2) He hopes that a south-west wind will blow on them and cover them with blisters all over.
3) Caliban’s punishment for his cursing is to have painful cramps and horrible pains in his sides that will keep him from breathing.
4) Prospero will send goblins out at night to work their nasty deeds on him. (can you also say "to plague him").
5) He'll be pricked all over.
The goblins’ pinches will be as close together as the cells of a honey-comb, and each pinch will hurt (him?) more than the stings of the bees that make (made?) the cells.
6) Caliban is both angry and rude because Prospero has interrupted his midday meeal.
7) He says he has to eat his dinner now. The island belongs to him because Sycorax, his mother, left it to him. But Prospero has taken it from him. When Prospero first got there, he petted him and took care of him.
8) He would give him water with berries in it and taught him the names for the sun and the moon, the big light and the smaller light that burn in daytime and nighttime.

  • English -

    Yes, you can say "tense choice" or "choice of tenses"!!

    1) Caliban hopes that both Prospero and Miranda get drenched with a dew as evil, the kind his mother used to collect with a raven’s feather from unhealthy swamps. I removed "they" and made "the kind..." an appositive instead of a clause. Present tense in the main clause and past in the appositive is fine, showing sequence of actions.

    2) He hopes that a southwest wind will blow on them and cover them with blisters all over.

    3) Caliban’s punishment for cursing is to have painful cramps and horrible pains in his sides that will keep him from breathing.

    4) Prospero will send goblins out at night to work their nasty deeds on him. (can you also say "to plague him"). Yes, either phrasing works fine.

    5) He'll be pricked all over. The goblins’ pinches will be as close together as the cells of a honey-comb, and each pinch will hurt more than the stings of the bees that make the cells.

    6) Caliban is both angry and rude when Prospero interrupts his midday meal.

    7) Caliban says he must eat his dinner now. The island belongs to him because Sycorax, his mother, left it to him, but Prospero has taken it from him. When Prospero first arrives, he pets him and takes care of him.
    The pronouns "he" and "him" in this last sentence are not clear -- do they all refer to Caliban? Do they all refer to Prospero? Both??

    8) He gives him water with berries in it and teaches him the names for the sun and the moon, the big light and the smaller light that burn in daytime and nighttime.
    The pronouns "he" and "him" in the first sentence here are not clear either.

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