posted by Mike
I really need to have a look at the first stanza of Owen's poem as I'm unsure of tense choice. Thank you.
1) In the first stanza the soldiers are retreating towards their trenches.
Instead of being youthful, strong fighters, they are presented as prematurely old and weak.
2) They are bent over like old men, moving slowly towards their barracks. Many are walking along without their boots, and coughing like hags.
3)They hobbled (or are hobbling?) along on their bloody feet, as if they were hurt or blind. They are so tired, they walk ask if they're (were?) drunk.
4) They don't even seem to hear the sounds of the bombs and shells that were (are?) dropping behind them.
War has broken these men, making them look like old beggars marching asleep. 5) Owen seems to reject the accepted attitude that serving one's country in war is glorious.
6) In particular, he is critical of the great enthusiasm used to convince men to go to war. Actually, young men were (are?) lured to war by the promise of desperate glory.)
1 - OK
2 - remove the comma after "boots" -- otherwise, it's OK.
3 - They are hobbling along on their bloody feet, as if they are hurt or blind.
4 - use "are"
5 - OK
6 - "are" -- I'd delete the word "desperate." What are you trying to say about "glory"?