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: Is this a good Thesis statment?

Because of the downturn in the economy as well as more people collecting rather than contributing to Social Security will make the program go broke before today’s 20 somethings are able to collect.

  • English -

    It's rather convoluted and is not a complete sentence.

    Try rephrasing without starting with "Because" -- let me know ...

  • english -

    What about this is this better?

    Due to the downturn in the economy as well as more people collecting rather than contributing to Social Security will make the program go broke before today’s 20 somethings are able to collect.

  • english -

    "Due to" and "Because of" mean the same thing. Basically, there is no subject for the verb "will make" -- so --

    Give me one noun that you intend to be the subject of the main verb, "will make."

  • english -

    I don't understand please give me an example.

  • english -

    Don't think about your sentence above. Just tell me your idea: What will make the program go broke?

  • english -

    Even though "Generations of Americans have grown up hearing Social Security won’t be there for them. The well-worn argument against Social Security goes something like this:, That social Security will not be there when we retire. because The Baby boomers and the economy will play a large role in the depleton of Social Security. and Social Security was used for other things not just retirenment. .

  • English -

    Since more people will be collecting rather than contributing to Social Security, the program will undoubtedly go broke before today’s young adults are able to collect.

    How is this?

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