english

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Hello! My name's Marie,I'm 16 I live in Paris and I'm bad in english,(so sorry for my neglish)I must do a homework and I
would like that you correct my mistakes, please... It's your language (mercy) :)

I used pictures to tell the story of a slave


One June day in 1837, Baaba Djibo's life changed dramatically.
He has lived in the west coast of Africa until he was captured with many men who came from his country. Once, their wrists and their ankles were tied forcibly, they were put in the boat in the place of the luggage. Actually, they were no longer considered as human beings. As a matter of fact, the traval has not beggun yet that /than African men were exhausted as tough, they (have) summoned up all their forces in order to get away from their ennemies, in vain. Despite of they were reducing to slavery, I wonder wether they were realizing that they could not see again their family. Furthermore, two white chiefs were standing right in the middle of the boat, while two members of the crew were casting off. The chiefs had a quiet attitude, they were sat idly by on the moment, nevertheless, they had responsabilities more serious as « exporting the cargo » to an other continent.
At least durind a few months, the boat crossed the Atlantic Ocean, as a result, many of them died because of epidemics or hunger.

Afterward, when they arrived, they had to work in cotton or sugar plantation. Concerning the climate, it is similar to Africa that's why we could deduce that Baaba Djibo was in the east coast of America so the boat berthed probably in New Orlean. Besides, from morning till night Baaba worked up to be tired with men, women and children. All together they were shackled, either they had around their necks a yoke or they carried a bundle. Even if, they were chained upand weakened, they were kept watch over by the overseers: willing to whip the disobedients slaves. All the same, Baaba Djibo rebelled against his owners: he escaped from their. Hidding in the streams, he was trying to avoid tracking down by the bounty hunter. Moreover, the owner was not all the time the same, in fact, the owner put an advertisement and the slaves were sold at auction.
In a way, the auction was like Wall Street the Stock Exchange: prices varied according to supply and demand, the market was saturated and sometimes prices drop.

I know it's late, 1:30 a.m in Paris so I'm really sorry

  • english -

    "traval" = the travel (voyage?)
    "beggun yet" = not yet begun
    "yet that /than African men were exhausted as tough," and the tough African men were exhausted"
    "tough, they (have) " = tough. They...(to avoid a run-on sentence)
    "ennemies" = enemies
    "Despite of they were reducing to " = Despite their being reduced to...
    "wether" = whether
    "attitude, they were sat " = attitude; they were (another run-on sentence)
    "an other" = another
    "durind" = during...
    "Ocean, as a result," = another run-on sentence, which means 2 complete sentences require end punctuation (period or semicolon) at the end of the first one.....Ocean; as a result OR Ocean. As a result...

    Paragraph 2
    "in cotton or sugar" = on a cotton or sugar...
    "Africa that's why ? = Africa (either period or semicolon and if you use a period, the first letter of the next word is capitalized. That's...
    "New Orlean" = New Orleans
    "up to be tired with " = until he was tired, along with...
    "All together they were shackled," = They were shackled all together;...
    "upand weakened" = up and weakened
    "disobedients" = disobedient
    "from thir" = from them
    "Hidding" = Hiding
    "tracking down" = bing tracked down
    "not all the time" = not always
    ", in fact," = ; in fact,....
    "Wall Street the Stock Exchange" = Wall Street with...
    "demand, the market" = demand; the market
    was saturated & drop = bad sequence of tense to use the past tense followed by the past tense. Better: "was saturated ...and...dropped.

    Sra (aka Mme)

  • english -

    thanks

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