english

posted by .

Please check my paragraph and tell me if I need to add more. I am supposed to write a paragraph which sustains iron tone. Thannks!

Being organized shows a lack of creativity. It spumes boring, takes time and doesn’t come naturally for others. Disorganized people tend to work more efficiently when things are little messy. Also being organized hinders people from expanding their creativities since they focus on being neat.

  • English -

    It would help if you proofread your question before posting it.

    I have no idea what an "iron tone" is. What is "spumes"?

    It seems like you are confusing being organized with having an obsessive-compulsive disorder. The latter is much more extreme.

  • English -

    I agree with PsyDAG about all his comments.

    You are also writing in generalizations. If you don't correct this, you are writing that all "disorganized people" tend to work efficiently, that being organized hinders all "people" from expanding creativity, etc.

    Really? You checked? All these people in the world??
    http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/fallacies.html#5

Respond to this Question

First Name
School Subject
Your Answer

Similar Questions

  1. english

    HELP!! I wrote an outline instead of a body paragraph on "Healthful eating" which was wrong. Please, can someone write a good body paragraph for me, so that I have an idea of what I'm supposed to do. Thanks
  2. English

    Paragraph One: the Resume Statement I need to write a one paragraph resume statement. This paragraph will go at the top of my resume, and convince the human resource officer to take my application seriously. It must be persuasive. …
  3. English 11 (Novel Study No country for old men)

    Im doing an essay on the lack of redemption shown in the novel No country for old men. I needs 1000-1200 words and i got about 7 paragraphs these include -Thesis -Body paragraph 1(the corruption of money) -Body paragraph 2(the curruption …
  4. English 11 (No country for Old men Novel Study)

    Im doing an essay on the lack of redemption shown in the novel No country for old men. I needs 1000-1200 words and i got about 7 paragraphs these include -Thesis -Body paragraph 1(the corruption of money) -Body paragraph 2(the curruption …
  5. Writeacher

    writeacher you havent told me how my paragraph is. can you please tell me fast. i almost have to sleep. im sorry if im being so impatient but i need that paragraph revised quick
  6. english

    I have to write a paragraph which sustains an ironic tone. I have two thesis that I want to write about. (1)Being organized shows a lack of creativity. (2) Reading is a waste of time. I want to write about the first one. Please tell …
  7. HISTORY

    Explain what traces the rise of Japan from an isolated society to a major industrial and imperial power. Please help. I need to write a paragraph on this. As you know, don't write me a paragraph. But please answer my question, without …
  8. English

    I need help with starting my essay. These are the organization of my essay. I am not sure what to put for paragraph #2. *Broad subject-My name *Limited Topic for thesis statement-Learning to cope with my height *Main Idea about this …
  9. Language Arts

    Is this a good analytical paragraph? Edgar Allen Poe’s poem, “The Bells”, uses personification and alliteration in order to establish a new tone for each stanza. Personification is used to create a transition in the stanzas,
  10. English

    CHECK PLEASE? Is this a good analytical paragraph?

More Similar Questions