posted by Anonymous .
I had to do this hero characterization and I did rough draft of the assignment. The direction ask me to do this: This character may be one you encountered either as a child or adult, one that may have appeared in any medium: television, film, literature (stories, poems, drama), oral stories, plays, comic books, graphic novels, and/or computer games. Spend time imagining everything you might think of regarding the hero in terms of the character’s desire, image, voice, action, and thought (as discussed in Imaginative Writing). Jot down as much information you can capture from your imagination.
Then, using the desire of your character and at least one other method (image, voice, action, and/or thought), create a characterization of him or her.
Last, write a short summary before and after the characterization to contextualize it within a plot. In essence, you are showing the hero in your characterization and telling the story surrounding him or her in the short summaries before and after the characterization. An example is below, showing you how to accomplish this task.
Write this assignment in either first or third person. While writing and revising, seek the most precise word choices possible to convey your imagined character. Remember to use concrete images whenever possible. Here is an example of what the professor did: The example below uses the desire of the character, as well as actions and images, to show him:
[Summary] William had convinced his mother to let him join the army, even though he was only 17. He had not been able to stand the loss of his grand piano that his father sold to raise money for another drinking binge. Now en route to Vietnam, William closed his eyes and drifted to sleep. His memories of music, lessons, and Professor Svoboda came to him in his dreams.
[Characterization] If only he could master that one last passage in Rachmaninoff’s second concerto, William was certain the piano competition would be his win. He carefully folded up his sheet music and placed it back in his portfolio. Professor Svoboda looked down and shook his head. If William would only realize his talent, he thought, he would know he’s ready.
William shook his instructor’s hand, as usual. He turned and left without a word. Glum. Again. He ducked under the tree branch hanging over the porch outside the studio door and swung his left hand in time to some inaudible bit of music in his head. Anger began to rise, hotter than the last time.
His quick pace and intermittent hand-swinging were familiar to the benchwarmers each weekday afternoon on East 73rd near the park. William saw nothing and kept his head down. But they saw him. They saw his photo on the kiosks in the park. Lincoln Center, no less. The international competition, February 16.
William turned right on East 65th and headed into Central Park. Another gray, damp afternoon, perfect for the last bit of Rachmaninoff’s weeping piano in the second concerto. William didn’t notice. His head was down.
[Summary] When the air transporter landed at the military base on Guam, William woke with a jolt. It was his 18th birthday. He would leave Vietnam a drug-addicted door gunner 13 months later.
Here is my rough draft and I want to know if you can tell me what I did wrong and help me out with it please.
Summary] My father convinced me that having an education is something that everyone needs in life. I had no idea that everything does not come easy for you unless you work hard for it.
[Characterization] My hero growing up as a child was no other than my father all my life before his passing. I came remember me and my dad talking what you want to do when you grow up go to college and make something out of myself that is a good little girl. I don’t want you to be anything like me not finishing school because school is the most important thing that you can have in your life education. I would come home everyday from school saying daddy I don’t think that I really want to go to college anymore because it is going to be hard work because I ask my teacher what she had to do to get were she at and she told me going to college got right were I really want to be a teacher wow. I ran home daddy I know what I want to do finish college and maybe one day own my own business.
My father was someone who you could have went to for advice or asks for anything because if he got it you know that you could have got it from him. I really didn’t know what I would do without him or his help. After my father death I really couldn’t focus on anything school or nothing. I really want to give it all up because my father is not here to share it with me and I remember what he said don’t be nothing like me just do what you need to finish school and opening up your business like you plan on doing because I am always going to be here with you.
[Summary] I couldn’t tell my father that I am almost finish because he die right because I finish high school so my goal was because he push me to my hardest to do my best and don’t give up at all.
write a short summary before and after the characterization to contextualize it within a plot. In essence, you are showing the hero in your characterization and telling the story surrounding him or her in the short summaries before and after the characterization. An example is below, showing you how to accomplish this task.
I'll at least proofread what you have done.
does not come easy for you = easily (an adverb)
I came remember me = I can?
talking what you = talking about what
you grow up go to college = end with up Then a new sentence. "Going to college and making something out of myself would what a good little girl should do. (or something similar)
like me not finishing school = like my not finishing school...drop the word 'education' at the end.
saying daddy I = saying, "Daddy, I...."
hard work = end right there with the word work.
The next sentence is so cumbersome, making the sentence where you had it much too long. Drop "because" and try something like: When I asked my teacher what she had to do to be where she is, she told me that going to college got her where she is. Now, I really want to be a teacher --- wow!
I ran home daddy = I ran home to tell Daddy, etc.
know what I want to do finish = know that what I wanat to do is finish, etc.
someone who you could have went to = someone to whom you could go to ask for advice on anything......sorry, but you have so many grammar errors and I do not want to change the idea of what you want to say.
because if he had it, you know you could get it from him
my father death = father's death
focus on anything school or nothing. = focus on school or anything. (No double negatives!)
he said don’t be nothing like me just do what you need to finish school and opening up your business = he said "Don't be anything like me. Just do what y ou need to finish school and open your business......"
I am almost finish = finished...father died...
NOTE: You will need to rework the last sentence. We are not through with suggestions, etc. so I recommend that you redo as much as you can and repost for more proofreading, etc.
I agree with Sra's editing.
As you revise, pay close attention to these directions:
"Spend time imagining everything you might think of regarding the hero in terms of the character’s desire, image, voice, action, and thought (as discussed in Imaginative Writing)."
P.S. In addition, are you writing, as the prompt required, totally in either first or third person?
first person = I, we
third person = he/she/they
The only time to have "you" is in a direct quote when you are speaking to your father, or he is speaking to y ou.
While you imagining, think of the 5 senses: sight, touch, taste, smell and hearing. As the person, how would these things be perceived.