posted by Anonymous .
How does this sound so far? It is the introduction to an essay about the history of Canada.
The History of Canada
The broad and beautiful country of Canada stretches from the Pacific Ocean in the west to the Atlantic Ocean in the east and form the Arctic Ocean in the north to the border it shares with the United States to the south. This vast country is, in fact, the second-largest in the world. It shares land borders with the United States to the south and northwest (where Alaska is located). Canada and the United States have many major geographic features in common such as the Rocky Mountains and four of the Great Lakes. Because of this, it is understandable that the histories including the exploration and settlement of both nations are closely interwoven. In addition to a vast and diverse geography, Canada has a very rich history and culture.
As an introductory paragraph, it's fine. Is that last sentence your thesis? Will your whole paper be organized and written to prove that last sentence true? Or are you going to focus on what Canada and the US have in common??
I am not planning on the whole essay being about the similarities between the US and Canada. I just wanted to point out that because of their similar geographic features, the two nations have had closely interwoven histories. But the rest of the paper I want to focus on the history of Canada alone. I think my thesis is pretty weak though. I'm not sure how to make it stronger...
"In addition to a vast and diverse geography, Canada has a very rich history and culture."
If this is your thesis statement, then I would expect to read some about the geography of Canada and a great deal about the history and culture of Canada -- in all its parts, not just the cities and famous places.
If those are your intentions, then your thesis statement is fine. So now concentrate on your paper, and don't fret so much about this particular paragraph. If, after the rest of the paper is written, you feel like streamlining and/or strengthening the introduction, that's fine, too. There's really no point in focusing too much on an intro for a paper that's not written yet!!
Right. Thank you!
You're very welcome. Go get an A!!