Please read my short story deeper Ever deeper

posted by .

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssssssse read my short story, it's
down here, and I need to have it read by ppl.
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  • Please read my short story deeper Ever deeper -

    lol
    i guess me only reading it wasn't enough :P

  • Please read my short story deeper Ever deeper -

    Due tomorrow? It really is pretty sappy. And misses many important points. This is from the viewpoint of the guy ONLY, to have a story, one has to weave both individuals into it with some thread, either irony, or else. On that, I missed the point.

  • Please read my short story deeper Ever deeper -

    oh come on now mr.bob, that's a little too harsh. it was fine! if he included both veiwpoints it wouldn't be a short story anymore

  • Please read my short story deeper Ever deeper -

    thanks for tellign me I guess I got to fix it. I really needed that but it wouldn't be that good when you can tell what the girl is thinking. That is why I wanted to surprise the reader by having the girl reject him. Please tell me what I should right. It's due tomarrow

  • Please read my short story deeper Ever deeper -

    if he included all that then it wouldn't be a short story anymore

  • Please read my short story deeper Ever deeper -

    At least include what the girl was thinking as he leered at her, and what she was thinking when she answered. Did she expect him to ask? Does she have a conflict?

  • Please read my short story deeper Ever deeper -

    I would love to read it and comment but where is it?

  • Please read my short story deeper Ever deeper -

    It is close to the middle. U'll see it its the one with millions of comments and replies lol.

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