I was wondering if this sounded any better than what I did before thanks for looking
To... jtalbot can really do e-mail address her
Subject.. important meeting
From my e-mail address here
June 6, 2008
Dear Ms. Talbot,
Mr. Smith would like to set up a lunch meeting with you for next Wednesday at two o'clock.
Mr. Rory Webster, the assistant manager, will also be attending the meeting. He has some great ideas for a project that Mr. Smith would like you to be a part of. If you're able to attend the meeting please let me know, so I can make reservations at the King Charles Hotel on River Street for two o'clock. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Kaleigh-Anne Peters
Office Manager
Columbia Hospital
____________________________________________________________
Sounds and reads fine. I'd put a comma after "meeting" in the next to last sentence, though.
To make the email sound better, here are some suggestions:
1. Start with a clear and concise subject line: "Important Meeting Request"
2. Begin the email with a proper greeting: "Dear Ms. Talbot,"
3. Use a more formal tone and structure your sentences properly. For example:
June 6, 2008
Dear Ms. Talbot,
I hope this email finds you well. I am writing on behalf of Mr. Smith, who would like to schedule a lunch meeting with you next Wednesday at two o'clock. Additionally, Mr. Rory Webster, the assistant manager, will be joining the meeting. He has some excellent ideas for a project that Mr. Smith believes you would be interested in being a part of.
If you are available to attend the meeting, please let me know at your earliest convenience. This will allow me to make reservations at the King Charles Hotel on River Street for two o'clock. We believe this venue will provide an ideal setting for our discussion.
Thank you in advance for your prompt response. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
Kaleigh-Anne Peters
Office Manager
Columbia Hospital
4. Add a professional closing, such as "Thank you in advance for your prompt response"�, and include your full name, job title, and organization.