Religion , edit.

Can someone edit this for me or help me make it sound correctly or even better. I would greatly appreciate it. please....:)


How did the childhood experiences of Siddhartha Guatama (Buddha) lead to his questioning of the spiritual practices of his time?


Siddartha Guatama was raised with everything. Basically he didn't have to move a finger or a foot if he didn't want to . Being the son of the king he was like a god to everyone else. The king tryied to keep him within the palace so he wouldn't have to see or even suffer what was the reality of life. Even though Siddartha had everything he had an empty feeling that he needed to fullfill. After he found the four sights legend he sure was amazed about it. Especially because his father kept it away from him. This led him to go through life and see what was actually life in the real world without any lucktuary. From what he learned in his journeys and by coming back and basically give out and helping out was what made him known as the Budda.

Siddartha Guatama was raised with everything<~~What does "everything" mean?. Basically he didn't have to move a finger or a foot if he didn't want to .<~~delete space before period Being the son of the king<~~insert comma he was like a godwhy would being the son of a king (human) make him "like a god" (superhuman)?? to everyone else. The king tryied<~~spelling? to keep him within the palace so he wouldn't have to see or even suffer what was the reality of life<~~awkward phrasing from "see" onward; rephrase. Even though Siddartha had everything<~~insert comma he had an empty feeling that he needed to fullfill<~~sp?. After he found the four sights legend<~~insert comma he sure<~~needs adverb; use "certainly" was amazed about it. Especially because his father kept it away from him.<~~sentence fragment This<~~what is "this"? led him to go through life and see what was actually life in the real world without any lucktuary<~~what?. From what he learned in his journeys and by coming back and basically give out and helping out<~~very awkward phrasing; also, there is not subject for this verb~~> was what made him known as the Budda<~~sp?.

I cannot comment on the content. I have to presume that you can back all these facts and ideas up from your research.

Fragments and how to fix them:
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/fragments.htm

=)

I have never heard of the 4 sights legend. He decided to go outside the palace and saw a sick person, crippled person, something that like (look it up for the right answer) and came to realize suffering.

But...you must somehow connect this to the part of the question...how did it "lead to his questioning of the spiritual practices of his time?" You gave a decent summary overall (if you didn't get the 4 sites thing from your school reading, be sure to cite where you got it from. Even if you did, put a citation in there). Now connect it to questioning the Spiritual practices of his time.

Key thought: How did avoiding being sheltered from suffering, then seeing suffering later in life make him want to question the spiritual practices? (That's where I might take the paper. There are a few other routes too. I have my own answer to the question, but research your own.)

As a thought, be careful to put where you got your information. The story of Siddartha has a lot of oral tradition to it - and oral tradition tends to add/take things away every time it's told. That's part of the beauty of it. So if you find something, be sure to cite it so if it's not part of the normal tradition the teacher is familiar with, (s)he can check it out him/herself.

Happy writing!
Matt

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