In this project I done about cells I learn about the job of each part of the cell. I also learn about where it’s found. As I was doing some research on this project I learn so many things. For example , vacuoles are water-filled storage spaces found in cells. They are found in both animal and plant cells (but they are more common in plant cells they are also bigger in plant cells). Vacuoles store food, collect waste products.
Is this paragraph is good????
I did this project (extra credit) about cells so I done a powerpoint and my teacher said that I have to write a 5 sentence paragraph on what did I learn about cells.
You have a problem with verb tenses. These are the corrections you should make.
In this project I did about cells, I learned about the job of each part of the cell. I also learn about where it’s found. As I was doing some research on this project, I learned so many things. For example, vacuoles are water-filled storage spaces found in cells. They are found in both animal and plant cells, but they are more common in plant cells. They are also bigger in plant cells. Vacuoles store food and collect waste products.
I was going to add the ed for learned but I thought it would be a grammar mistake. OOps I forgot to put and for the last sentence I got it from my notes.
Thank You Ms. Sue! )
You're welcome Laruen.
Oops -- I forgot the -ed on "I also learned about . . .
yup! :)
Yes, overall the paragraph is good. It effectively conveys that you have learned about the different parts of the cell, their functions, and where they are found. However, there are a few areas where it can be improved to make it clearer and more concise.
1. "In this project I done about cells" can be rewritten as "In my cell project" or "Throughout my study on cells."
2. Instead of saying "As I was doing some research on this project," you can simply say "During my research" or "While conducting my research."
3. Instead of "For example," you can start a new sentence with "One example is..." or "One thing I learned is that..."
4. Instead of "They are found in both animal and plant cells," you can say "Vacuoles are present in both animal and plant cells."
5. Instead of "they are more common in plant cells they are also bigger in plant cells," you can say "However, they are more prevalent and larger in plant cells."
By making these revisions, the paragraph will become more clear and concise, while still conveying the same information.