English College composition I

I need help on writing a thesis statement about child abuse/my story.

so far this is what i have
THESIS #1
"While other children were beaten to death or were abused in so many ways. I was one of the few who survived child abuse and became an adult trapped in a small body."

THESIS#2
"child abuse and neglect occurs all around the world. Although many people fail to realize or admit it, each day three children dies as a result of child abuse. While others might survive and can take a negatively impact in life"
*please let me know if it is a good thesis statement for my essay.

  1. 👍
  2. 👎
  3. 👁
  1. This tip always helped me to come up with a thesis statement for an essay: 1-Name the problem and 2-suggest an answer to the problem. Example-Bullying has become a nationwide epidemic; but as parents and educators, we can and should do something about it. The problem is that bullying has become a huge problem and my suggestion to fix the problem is that we should take more of an active role in educating our children. Hope this helps.

    1. 👍
    2. 👎
  2. Your thesis statement should be the sentance that grabs the reader's attention and gets them interested while at the same time states your viewpoint. Be sure you know where you stand on your topic - you obviously do. I like your first thesis statement, especially the part about being an adult in a small body. That is the kind of wording that would capture someone's attention from the get-go.
    If I may, however, I suggest combining the two statements just slightly. Possibly try something along the lines of:
    "As an adult trapped in a small body, I survived the very demon that kills an average of three children every day. Many people fail to recognize or even admit that this horror exists, but those of us that have survived it know the disastrous impact child abuse leaves."

    1. 👍
    2. 👎

Respond to this Question

First Name

Your Response

Similar Questions

  1. Early childhood

    School-age children generally develop writing skills in which sequence? A.Expressive writing,expository writing,story B.Exposity writing,story writing,expressive writing. C.Expressive writing,story writing,expository. Story

  2. Physical Ed

    Could you help me with this please? 1. Telling a child that he won't amount to anything in life is a form of A. neglect B. emotional abuse (My answer) c. physical abuse d. sexual abuse

  3. english

    Hello, I am writing an opinion essay on "Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson. I have a thesis statement, but I am not sure if those reasons relate to it. Paragraph one: Introduction Thesis Statement (Yes or No): In a book called

  4. English

    Journal Entry 3: Prewriting and Thesis Statement Brainstorm: Review the description of brainstorming in your textbook on page 111. Then write a list of all the social media and social networking websites and apps you might use to

  1. English

    Which of the following is a common error in composing a thesis statement? A. You offer an original perspective on a familiar theme. B. Your thesis statement is specific as opposed to general. C. Your thesis statement contains two

  2. Thesis statement

    How do I write a thesis statement about why I choose Medical Billing and Coding as a career. I have read what a thesis statement is, but my writing is terrible and I just can't get the understanding of what to include in my thesis

  3. Helping Abused children

    Please help 4. As a teacher aide, if you report an incident of child abuse, A. you must be able to prove your allegations to the authorities. B. you’ll most likely be asked to testify in court. C. you should keep all information

  4. eng composition

    Which statement is true? A. Once you write a thesis statement don't change it. B. A theisi statement is the first thing you should write before drafting an essay. C. Feel free to change a thesis statement if you feel you can

  1. English

    I am writing this essay about Shirley Jackson's "The lottery" My essay is supposed to be about i think i want to talk about stoning in south africa( how long it lasted, if it still takes place, was it for punishment or for no

  2. Development

    I am writing a report about water conservation. So please help me about how can I start of my thesis statement

  3. Teacher's Aide: Helping Abused Children

    1. The Stubborn Child Law enacted by Massachusetts in 1646 permitted parents to A. use corporal punishment when children disobeyed them. B. keep children out of school if they were needed for family work purposes. C.

  4. english

    I'm writing a thesis statement and wanted someone to check it for me. My topic is about adoption, which I agree with. Thesis statement: should be able to adopt because homosexual adoption also solves the problem of shortage of

You can view more similar questions or ask a new question.