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What is wrong with this sentence. Grammar wise...

If he cannot attend the game, an elemental fan, according to an article in SPORTS ILLUSTRATED entitled "Buck Wild For The Bucks", will watch the game on TV with family or friends.

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Katie

  1. it sounds like a run on sentence.

    does it not sound better if it was like this:

    An elemental fan will watch the game on TV with family or friends if he cannot attend the game, according to an article in SPORTS ILLUSTRATED entitled "Buck Wild For The Bucks."

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    maximillion

  2. The sentence is technically correct. It's not a run on sentence, although as Maximillion stated, it sounds like a run on because of so many phrases.

    Maximillion has a good solution to making the sentence clearer.

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    Ms. Sue

  4. Grammar included:

    An elemental fan will watch the game on TV, with family or friends, if he cannot attend the game; according to an article in SPORTS ILLUSTRATED entitled "Buck Wild For The Bucks."

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    maximillion

  5. Maximillion -- you were right the first time. You need a comma, not a semicolon, after game.

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    Ms. Sue

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