English (Need help rephrasing)

Can you please help me rephrase this?

I have completed over 150 volunteer hours at {name} Hospital. Delivering and filing medical transcriptions is one of my favorite jobs. Through this work, I was able to explore every part of the hospital while having the responsibility of carefully delivering important information. As I reflect on this, I notice that a lot of people benefit from my service - the patients, the hospital administration, nurses, doctors, visitors, and the list could go on. Essentially, the people I help directly end up helping other people.

It seems too choppy to me.

Thank you very much.

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  1. I would phrase it this way -

    Through my volunteer work at ___ Hospital, I have found that I can help others by being a diligent aide to the hospital staff. During my 150 volunteer hours, one of my favorite jobs is delivering and filing medical transcriptions. Through this work, I was able to explore every part of the hospital while having the responsibility of carefully delivering important information. As I reflect on this, I notice that a lot of people benefit from my service - the patients, the hospital administration, nurses, doctors, and visitors. Being of service to others has been an instructive experience.

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  2. Thank you very much!

    It conveys exactly what I was trying to say.

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  3. You are very welcome. I am glad you are working as a volunteer!

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  4. THE STRUCTURE OF OPPORTUNITY FOR CHICANOS IS ROOTED IN THE HISTORY OF THE WESTWARD EXPANSION, THE GEOGRAPHICAL PROXIMITY AND POVERTY OF MEXICO THAT FACILITATE CONTINUED IMMIGRATION, AND THE HISTORICAL LABOR FUNCTIONS OF MEXICAN WORKERSIN THE USA ECONOMY.

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