english

hi i was just wondering if this makes sense and if it is a good remembrance day poem:
Restless nights, awake in a nightmare
Endless worrying of what would await
Making it through, one day at a time
Expecting death, a constant companion
Many mens fate determined by the war
Breaking hearts, strengthening souls
Remorseful to those that live on in our hearts
And to their bravery, for which we are grateful
Never forgetting how these men fought
Courage and strength that they procure
Eternal gratitude, forever more

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  1. Sounds fine. A couple of things, though --

    men's <~~it's possessive and needs the apostrophe

    procure <~~can you find a better word for this?
    http://www.thesaurus.com

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