To Ms. Sue

Ms. Sue, I have one more A-Z story to go and this I had started on a while ago. I'm pretty sure there aren't that many punctuational or grammatical problems in here; I really don't want you to waste ur time looking through this, but if you can edit this story a little bit as well, then that would be very appreciating. Thank you for all your help:-)


A princess named Susan is about to get married to her chosen prince named Charles. Beatrice, Susan’s sister, also has a crush on Charles and does not want this wedding to occur. Charles is very rich and owns a mansion with over 50 servants working around everywhere. Damon on the other hand is Charles’s step-brother who has a big crush on Susan. Everything seemed to be twisted in the lives of these four. Five days were left till the wedding. Grandparents of Susan and Beatrice were very happy for Susan, that she would be getting married into such a big house. Heartbroken Beatrice was, she longed to be with Charles. “I shall marry Charles”, her conscience would say, but then again she had deep feelings for her sister and did not want to hurt her in any way. Jolly were Susan and Beatrice’s parents, they had bought expensive gifts to give away to all the guests that would be attending the wedding. Knots were beginning to develop within Beatrice’s stomach; she couldn’t control her emotions and ran into her room, slamming it shut by accident. Loyalty belonged within each member of this family, no one ever felt sad. Madison, one of the servants in the house, rushed into Beatrice’s room to see what was wrong. “Nothing is wrong”, Beatrice replied,” I’m fine”. “Oh don’t lie to me”, Madison shrieked. “Please tell me what’s wrong”. Quivering with fear, Beatrice spills out the truth to Madison, her close friend. Regretting on what she said, she begs Madison not to mention anything to anyone about it. Suddenly, Madison realizes that she had forgotten to shut the door, and as she and Beatrice turn to stare at it, they find all the family members listening to them. Tears started to spill out of Beatrice’s eyes; she was feeling very ashamed of herself. Unhappy were Beatrice and Madison, they couldn’t meet their eyes with all the family members. Very happy was Susan, she went up to Beatrice and told her how she and all the other family members already had known that she loved Charles. “We also received a call from Charles saying that this marriage couldn’t take place, because it was you who he had loved”, Susan exclaimed to Beatrice. Xylophones suddenly started to play and Charles made his way in the room with a rose. “Yes”, it’s true that I love you and it’s also true that today we will both be getting married, but along with Susan and my step-brother Damon. Zooming around with happiness, Damon came in and he told Beatrice how he told Susan he had loved her and how they eventually ended up in this bond of love.

The End

Also have any ideas for a good title for this story?

  1. 👍 0
  2. 👎 0
  3. 👁 77
asked by Sara
  1. Looks great, Sara!

    A title might be "The Prince and Bea."

    1. 👍 0
    2. 👎 0
    posted by Ms. Sue
  2. Thank you Ms. Sue:-)

    1. 👍 0
    2. 👎 0
    posted by Sara
  3. You're welcome, Sara.

    1. 👍 0
    2. 👎 0
    posted by Ms. Sue
  4. I like that title, Ms. Sue!

    1. 👍 0
    2. 👎 0
    posted by Jen

Respond to this Question

First Name

Your Response

Similar Questions

  1. english

    was given an assignment to write a paragraph essay about the short story"'the sniper''. And Ialready started and i want you to check my work if am on the right track.I started by writing my general statement. iNTHE SHORT STORY

    asked by sewa on February 15, 2011
  2. english

    was given an assignment to write a paragraph essay about the short story"'the sniper''. And Ialready started and i want you to check my work if am on the right track.I started by writing my general statement. iNTHE SHORT STORY

    asked by sewa on February 15, 2011
  3. English

    So ms. Sue before you say that theme of story be don’t look back or you be destroyed. ms. sue before I start this paragraph, I also need to put 5 quotes in paragraph from story, which u think be best ones to put in there?

    asked by Mohammad on February 16, 2012
  4. English - ms. sue

    ms. sue thanks for giving me list of traditions :) you read the story lottery by shirley jackson? i need help with story, i writing essay on traditions and i need to mention story parts.

    asked by Mohammad on December 14, 2012
  5. writeacher

    writeacher i see ms. sue not here today u please help me with story? i write about descriptive paragraph first point of view that i switch on and off from reality like Walter Mitty story. i write about childhood, switching from it

    asked by Mohammad on February 2, 2012
  6. English - Ms. Sue

    Hi Ms. Sue I’m Aaron and I’m Mohammad’s friend, I helped Mohammad edit his, and I’m also doing a theme on the story “A few notes for Orpheus” and could gladly use your help. As Mohammad had pointed out before that the

    asked by Aaron on February 20, 2012
  7. English - ms. sue

    ms. sue I write a Christmas story, it have to be on topic that differing points of view make christmas exciting/interesting. i write my story on a rich girl who go and celebrate christmas with her penpal that be really poor and

    asked by Mohammad on January 4, 2013
  8. english

    i am crying because i need a story please give me a story and it has to be 2 pages long but the site that mrs.sue or who ever gave me it did not work

    asked by savvanah on August 23, 2010
  9. English

    I've seen this question a bunch and I've read all of them I could find and none of them helped I'm not asking for anyone to write my essay or to explain to me how to write the essay. I need help getting it started and hitting all

    asked by reb on October 23, 2018
  10. English

    I was writing this sentences, could you check it, please. Sue hasn’t eaten any fruit or vegetables for a while. Ned started to eat healthier food last year. Sue hasn’t never visited a doctor on a regular basis. Ned has lived a

    asked by ELIZ on September 3, 2017
  11. English - Thesis Statement on Life of Pi

    a) how is life of pi a story within a story within story? ( i know the first part a story within a story, but the other within the story, i am confused) b) i am going to write an essay about story telling on Life of Pi by Yann

    asked by Shaila on August 21, 2010

More Similar Questions