English

I need intro paragraph proofread and edited please

source used for intro paragraph : empire demands discipline, the coordination of all forces and a deeply felt sense of duty and sacrifice: this fact explains many aspects of the practical working of the regime, the character of many forces in the State, and the necessarily severe measures which must be taken against those who would oppose this spontaneous and inevitable movement of Italy in the twentieth century,

i need the paragraph below edited please:

Imperialism can benefit ones country. Empires can be built by securing resources, however the building of empires has essential led to many wars through out history. Some people believe that empires are something which are needed and are inevitable. These people would be considered ultranationalist. Others believe that Empires are dangerous and are the cause of many unnecessary wars. These people would be considered internationalist as they are trying to promote global peace. Clearly, the ultranationalism of building an empire is wrong and should be avoided.

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  1. . . . can benefit one's country.
    . . . resources; however,
    . . . essentially . . . throughout

    Four errors in two sentences show that you haven't proofread your own work.

    Your paragraph is also disjointed. What point are you trying to make?

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  2. i am trying to prove that empires are wrong

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  3. If you're trying to prove empires are wrong, then you shouldn't talk about the positives of empires in your first four sentences.

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  4. can you help me re write the paragraph because i don't know what to do.....
    I needed to come up with an issue from the source below; which is if empires are wright or wrong

    Empire demands discipline, the coordination of all forces and a deeply felt sense of duty and sacrifice: this fact explains many aspects of the practical working of the regime, the character of many forces in the State, and the necessarily severe measures which must be taken against those who would oppose this spontaneous and inevitable movement of Italy in the twentieth century,

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  5. That source is in favor of empires.

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