ms.sue english check

i talk to you about a two paragraph essay and you help me chhose boxing and give me a intro is there anyway i can write my essay now and you can grade it or tell me what i got wrong fixmy mistakes and tell me if its good.thank you i will appreciate it. :)

asked by henry
  1. I'd be glad to check it.

    But first, please proofread it carefully yourself and run it through a spell check. Then post it.

    My practice is to stop reading after I find three careless mistakes.

    posted by Ms. Sue
  2. Boxing, my favorite, is an Olympic, Amateur, and Professional sport.I love this sport because my brother (Sadam Ali)was an Amateur, is an Olympian, and now turned professional. This sport has been following all my life.when I was two my brother was four and started Karate. My family and I will would go watch all his tournaments and fights ; we never missed one. the second paragraph will be on the next post . thank you I appreciate it.

    posted by henry
  3. By the time he was eight I was six and he stopped participating in Karate and joined Boxing.So my family and brother decided to move on with boxing with his career and started his amateur career.As he got older he accomplished alot like the Golden Gloves and tryed for the Olympic trails.he won the olympic trails and was but on the U.S.A Olympic team. when he made the olympic team he made history. He was the only Arab/American to make the Olympic team; Also the first person to make the Olympic team in twenty years that was born and raised in Brooklyn,N.Y. Now he turned professional in january of 2009; His record is three fights zero lost zero draws and two knockouts. This is why i love the sport its been in my life and also there's always something to achieve.

    posted by henry
  4. This is pretty good. :-)

    In the first and second sentences, amateur and professional should begin with lower case letters.

    Do you mean that you've been following this sport all your life? (3rd sentence)

    Don't forget to start sentences with capital letters -- When I was two . . .

    Last sentence: Omit "will." The sentence should be: "My family and I would go . . ."







    posted by Ms. Sue
  5. i understand all the corrections thank you so much just the last correction where it says Last sentence: Omit "will." The sentence should be: whats Omit "will." sorry if i bother you but thanks for saying its pretty good :)

    posted by henry
  6. also it says PLEASE DON'T GO OVER A 100 WORDS. i did are they going to minus points if there are can you tell me what to take out. please thank you.

    posted by henry
  7. Second paragraph --

    1st sentence -- lower case for karate and boxing

    3rd & 4th sentences -- a lot (two words), tried (not tryed), trials (not trails), put (not but). Olympics should be capitalized.

    In this next sentence, I've bold-faced the corrections.

    He was the only Arab-American to make the Olympic team. Also, he was the first person to make the Olympic team in twenty years who was born and raised in Brooklyn, N.Y.

    Next sentence: Put a period after 2009.

    Note the commas you should put in this sentence:
    His record is three fights, zero lost, zero draws, and two knockouts.

    Henry -- I've enjoyed reading your essay about boxing and your brother. Good luck to you and him!

    Did you know there's an article about him in Wikipedia? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadam_Ali

    posted by Ms. Sue
  8. I put your two paragraphs into Word and it shows 219 words. I am not sure about the purpose of the limit of words, but when I was at the time of doing precis, every excess word counted.

    It looks like a good idea to shorten it to something close to 100 words. Perhaps Ms Sue or your teacher will give you a better idea how and whether marks will be taken off.

    posted by MathMate
  9. Omit means to leave out.

    One way you could shorten it is to omit the second paragraph. Add the last sentence of the second paragraph to your first paragraph. That should be just under 100 words.

    posted by Ms. Sue
  10. yes. i did know thank you so much for help. with your corrections im confident all get an A. but im still afarid about passing 100 should i shorten it or keep it as it is.

    posted by henry
  11. You're welcome.

    Since your instructions say clearly, don't go over 100 words, I recommend you shorten it to just the first paragraph plus your final sentence.

    posted by Ms. Sue
  12. oh ok that's sounds good now im sure ill get a. and my brothers professionals fights and amateur fights on youtube if you would like to watch thank you so much. you gave me confidence to go on with my work. when you said it was pretty good. thank you.

    posted by henry
  13. Now I think your essay is very good. :-)

    posted by Ms. Sue
  14. lol :) thanks i appreciate everything if i need help i know to come to you. thanks. you made me laugh and put me in a good mood. thanks

    posted by henry

Respond to this Question

First Name

Your Response

Similar Questions

  1. english

    you are to write a one or two paragraph essay on a topic of your choice. can i get some guidence and maybe a couple of good topics i should write about. i don't even know how to write a one or two paragraph essay. like how long
  2. English - ms. sue

    ms. sue i writing an essay on : is it possible to live a peaceful/happy life in times of today? I going to write yes it be for this essay, but teacher say that write essay by saying WE, so what be other forms of that I use, I
  3. English

    What is a reflective essay? Could someone write down the outline of a reflective essay for 3 Paragraphs? Also, for the body paragraph do I talk about my personal experience? Is this all, or do I have to anyalysis it? If so, what
  4. geo

    Hi... I need some URGENT help with my geography essay, I'm suppose to have three reasons to why canada is the best country and I'm looking for a 3 strong arguments ... i have 2 already down , economy and physical geography . I
  5. 10th grade english

    Write an essay comparing Baldwin's account of the Titanic with Rosenthal's account of his visit to Auschwitz.In your paragraph, explain how the tone and purpose of each essay is different. Support your argument with at least one
  6. english

    I woul like to review my essay please? Post it. Can you please help me write that essay" A way to decrease your chance of becoming a victim of random ciolence". Hmmm. You have an assignment to write an essay, a teacher offers to
  7. English

    I need help in writing a general statement and transition statement to my essay. I have all the body paragraphs.. but not an intro and a conclusion. Please help. Thanks. My essay topic is a shakespearean tragedy is a story of
  8. English-Ms. Sue

    Ms. Sue you know the description of the old house I did, well now I have to put all that into a paragraph. I want to make this paragraph seem really intersting and spooky. Ms. Sue could you please give me a spooky intro and
  9. english

    Hi. Can you help me with my homework? I have to write a 5 paragraph essay that is due to tomorrow. It is about: should us 5th readers have fun Fridays. But what I mostly need help is how to write a 5 paragraph essay. Thank you for
  10. 7th Grade English

    Ms. Sue or any other teacher I need your help. This is what I wrote for my english essay about Diversity Means. Diversity means the condition of being different. What good about it that you can ... That's all I got like this is a

More Similar Questions