persuasive letter (IGNORE PREVIOUS-This 1 is FINAL

This one is updated one. I am sorry for trouble.

I have to write to Expedia for their mistake on reserving my car rental at LA. I want a free car rental voucher.

--------------------------------

Tajinder Singh
392 Hinter Wayne Drive,
Nashville, TN 52312

July 09, 2007

Mr. Bill Adams
Expedia Travel Inc.
1821 White Marsh Street,
Atlanta, GA 22929

Dear Mr. Adams,

I am writing this letter for your knowledge about my trip of Los Angeles one week ago. I have always used Expedia for my travel, and I have been satisfied from it from last 4 years. It has always guaranteed me the good trip from my past experiences. Recently, I had bad experience with using Expedia for my car reservations at Lafayette airport at Los Angeles.

When I reached the Lafayette airport, I went to Budget car rental to pick up my car but the person working over there told me I have no reservations for the car. He also informed me at that time they don’t have any other car available. I checked other car rental services at the airport but to no use. I called the Expedia, and the representative on the phone said that he has my reservation and the confirmation number. I was not convinced that Expedia has made reservation for me. After that, I called my friend and he came 40 miles driving to pick me up from airport. I was really embarrassed for troubling him.

As this was my bad experience with using Expedia, I would like a free car rental voucher for future trip to Miami, Florida. I am sure somewhere there have been mistake with your system. It will provide me happiness and you will be satisfying your loyal customer.

Thanks,

Tajinder Singh

--------------------------------

is it okey?

My corrections and comments below are in bold; be sure to find them all!

Dear Mr. Adams,<~~use colon (:), not comma here

I am writing to tell you about my trip to Los Angeles one week ago. I have always used Expedia to make my travel arrangements, and I have been satisfied with your services for the last 4 years. Expedia has always guaranteed me a good trip from my past experiences<~~delete "from my past experiences" - those words are repetitive and unnecessary. Recently, however, I had a bad experience with<~~delete "with" using Expedia for my car reservations at Lafayette airport in Los Angeles.

When I reached the<~~delete "the" Lafayette airport, I went to Budget car rental to pick up my car<~~add comma but the person working over<~~delete "over" there told me I had no reservations for the car. He also informed me that, at that time, they didn't have any other car available. I checked other car rental services at the airport<~~add comma but to no use. I called the<~~delete "the" Expedia, and the representative on the phone said that he had my reservation and the confirmation number. I was not convinced that Expedia had made the reservation for me. After that, I called a friend, who drove 40 miles to pick me up from airport. I was really embarrassed for troubling him.

Because of this bad experience with<~~delete "with" using Expedia, I would like a free car rental voucher for a future trip to Miami, Florida. I am sure somewhere there was a mistake with your system. It<~~What is "it"? the mistake? the future rental voucher? what? will provide me happiness<~~add comma and you will be satisfying your loyal customer.

Thank you in advance.

Sincerely,

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