American Revolutuion

Can someone please look over my paragraph and tell me if theres anything wrong with it.

American Revolution - Patriot or Loyalist Paragraph.

Requirements:

Introduction - Who are the Patriots and Loyalists.

Which side would you have chosen and why?

MUST have 3 reasons.

Conclusion.
---------------------
The paragraph is below.

  1. 👍 0
  2. 👎 0
  3. 👁 194
asked by Larry
  1. Loyalists were people who were loyal to the King of England during the American Revolution. They supported the King and his policies. Many of these people were wealthy, land owners or had been appointed by the King to serve in government positions. The Loyalists were also American colonists in favor of keeping things the way they were. Many Loyalists had come to the colonies to make a better life for themselves and their families, but they still enjoyed the privileges of British protection.

    The patriots were American colonists in favor of separation from England. They felt England wasn't doing a good enough job of meeting their needs, and forcing them to do things without their consent or approval (taxing them on tea, when they didn't have representation, for example).
    The Patriots wanted a change and were willing to fight for this change, thus the American Revolution which lasted from 1775-1781.

    Contrary to popular belief, only one-third of all American colonists were Patriots. One-third were Loyalists, and the rest didn't care either way.

    I would have been a Loyalist because England was the strongest empire on Earth at the time. Plus England had a well trained army, and could give protection to the colonies.

    The loyalists knew that the number one power in the world was England, not only militarily, but economically as well. Some maybe feared the power of England and therefore stayed loyal. Others knew that as the number one economic power, England was the prime buyer of American raw materials and agricultural products. One does not want to go to war with ones number one customer.

    Another reason is as long as American colonies were closely tied to England, the great British Navy would protect American products. There were many pirates and privateers preying on shipping lanes. The British Navy helped stop them. The loyalists didn't want that protection to end. There was also the frontier. British troops were protecting the colonies along the Appalachian Mountains. The loyalists didn't want that to end either. They were willing to pay taxes in order to pay for the British troops in the colonies.

    Lastly the revolutionists would only sever ties with England and start a new kingdom. This would cause major problems. No other form of government had existed for over 1500 years-except when Oliver Cromwell took control of England. Unless you were born to a royal family, you were only the a subject of one monarch or another.

    Would you rather be a patriot or a loyalist?
    Would you rather be a patriot and have a weak government, with a untrained army of hatters, farmers, blacksmiths, etc....?
    Or would you rather be a loyalist and live under a strong government, have protection from invaders and a well trained army? I choose Loyalist.

    1. 👍 0
    2. 👎 0
    posted by Larry
  2. Is there anything wrong with my paragraphs?

    PS. The conclusion isn't that great, but I couldn't think of anything else.

    Thank you for your assistance.

    1. 👍 0
    2. 👎 0
    posted by Larry
  3. Loyalists were people who were loyal to the King of England during the American Revolution. They supported the King and his policies. Many of these people were wealthy, land owners or had been appointed by the King to serve in government positions. The Loyalists were also American colonists in favor of keeping things the way they were. Many Loyalists had come to the colonies to make a better life for themselves and their families, but they still enjoyed the privileges of British protection.

    The patriots were American colonists in favor of separation from England. They felt England wasn't doing a good enough job of meeting their needs, and forcing them to do things without their consent or approval (taxing them on tea, when they didn't have representation, for example).
    The Patriots wanted a change and were willing to fight for this change, thus the American Revolution which lasted from 1775-1781.

    Contrary to popular belief, only one-third of all American colonists were Patriots. One-third were Loyalists, and the rest didn't care either way.

    I would have been a Loyalist because England was the strongest empire on Earth at the time. Plus England had a well trained army, and could give protection to the colonies.

    The loyalists knew that the number one power in the world was England, not only militarily, but economically as well. Some maybe feared the power of England and therefore stayed loyal. Others knew that as the number one economic power, England was the prime buyer of American raw materials and agricultural products. One does not want to go to war with ones number one customer.

    Another reason is as long as American colonies were closely tied to England, the great British Navy would protect American products. There were many pirates and privateers preying on shipping lanes. The British Navy helped stop them. The loyalists didn't want that protection to end. There was also the frontier. British troops were protecting the colonies along the Appalachian Mountains. The loyalists didn't want that to end either. They were willing to pay taxes in order to pay for the British troops in the colonies.

    Lastly the revolutionists would only sever ties with England and start a new kingdom. This would cause major problems. No other form of government had existed for over 1500 years-except when Oliver Cromwell took control of England. Unless you were born to a royal family, you were only the a subject of one monarch or another.

    1. 👍 0
    2. 👎 0
    posted by fadget
  4. Loyalists were people who were loyal to the King of England during the American Revolution. They supported the King and his policies. Many of these people were wealthy, land owners or had been appointed by the King to serve in government positions. The Loyalists were also American colonists in favor of keeping things the way they were. Many Loyalists had come to the colonies to make a better life for themselves and their families, but they still enjoyed the privileges of British protection.

    The patriots were American colonists in favor of separation from England. They felt England wasn't doing a good enough job of meeting their needs, and forcing them to do things without their consent or approval (taxing them on tea, when they didn't have representation, for example).
    The Patriots wanted a change and were willing to fight for this change, thus the American Revolution which lasted from 1775-1781.

    Contrary to popular belief, only one-third of all American colonists were Patriots. One-third were Loyalists, and the rest didn't care either way.

    I would have been a Loyalist because England was the strongest empire on Earth at the time. Plus England had a well trained army, and could give protection to the colonies.

    The loyalists knew that the number one power in the world was England, not only militarily, but economically as well. Some maybe feared the power of England and therefore stayed loyal. Others knew that as the number one economic power, England was the prime buyer of American raw materials and agricultural products. One does not want to go to war with ones number one customer.

    Another reason is as long as American colonies were closely tied to England, the great British Navy would protect American products. There were many pirates and privateers preying on shipping lanes. The British Navy helped stop them. The loyalists didn't want that protection to end. There was also the frontier. British troops were protecting the colonies along the Appalachian Mountains. The loyalists didn't want that to end either. They were willing to pay taxes in order to pay for the British troops in the colonies.

    Lastly the revolutionists would only sever ties with England and start a new kingdom. This would cause major problems. No other form of government had existed for over 1500 years-except when Oliver Cromwell took control of England. Unless you were born to a royal family, you were only the a subject of one monarch or another.

    1. 👍 0
    2. 👎 0
    posted by sexy
  5. good job, but what grade are you in because i think you need better vocabulary.

    1. 👍 0
    2. 👎 0
    posted by nessa

Respond to this Question

First Name

Your Response

Similar Questions

  1. History Paper

    Can someone please look over my paragraph and tell me if theres anything wrong with it. American Revolution - Patriot or Loyalist Paragraph. Requirements: Introduction - Who are the Patriots and Loyalists. Which side would you

    asked by Larry on March 3, 2009
  2. writing

    Can someone please help? Does this seem to be correct? o Identify which paragraph was more effective and analyze why this is so. o Include a discussion of sentence variety and the rhythm of the author’s writing. o Focus on the

    asked by Anonymous on August 24, 2011
  3. languge art

    This is a most unusual paragraph. How quickly can you find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so ordinary, you'd think nothing was wrong with it. Actually, nothing IS wrong with it. But it is not as ordinary as you might

    asked by Mi on October 10, 2013
  4. ELA

    13.   Which of the following statements about connecting paragraphs is correct? A. Two paragraphs may be joined by an action verb. B. A good connection between two paragraphs is an implied transition. C. You can use a pointing

    asked by Brooklyn on June 2, 2015
  5. english

    HELP!! I wrote an outline instead of a body paragraph on "Healthful eating" which was wrong. Please, can someone write a good body paragraph for me, so that I have an idea of what I'm supposed to do. Thanks

    asked by Ivana on April 16, 2008
  6. Comm155

    Need help changing my passive voice words in my academic paragraph... In comparing paragraphs one and two, the flow and comprehension of paragraph two was much better. In paragraph one the author seemed to just be telling the

    asked by Mama on July 16, 2011
  7. English 11 (Novel Study No country for old men)

    Im doing an essay on the lack of redemption shown in the novel No country for old men. I needs 1000-1200 words and i got about 7 paragraphs these include -Thesis -Body paragraph 1(the corruption of money) -Body paragraph 2(the

    asked by Pengu on December 8, 2009
  8. english

    I think that paragraph 3 is more effective than paragraph 1 because it is structured in a better manner and has better rhythm than paragraph1. It also has better structures sentences than paragraph 1. For example in paragraph 1

    asked by rene on November 18, 2010
  9. English 11 (No country for Old men Novel Study)

    Im doing an essay on the lack of redemption shown in the novel No country for old men. I needs 1000-1200 words and i got about 7 paragraphs these include -Thesis -Body paragraph 1(the corruption of money) -Body paragraph 2(the

    asked by Pengu on December 9, 2009
  10. Spanish

    I was hoping that I could get some to look my essay and tell me the proper tenses of the verbs. In the first paragraph the imperfect tense of the verb and in the second paragraph the need to be preterit tense. If you could help

    asked by Caleb on July 13, 2015

More Similar Questions