Mrs. Sue, I redid the whole article again and I took your advice could you please check this over. If you need to go back and look at the article which I posted on the 14th you can. Thanks so much for your cooperation. (I'm in 9th grade, and by the way I need 2 transitions in these paragraphs.)Could you give me a letter grade I would appreciate it, and if you have any comments I would also like to hear them
City Goes Hungry
Supporting the article, "City Goes Hungry will be difficult, but I have my positive outlook of the situation. Rural Missouians are receiving money from the state lawmakers to help build new roads. I believe building, and paving new roads will help decrease accidents, help emergency vehicles get to their destination faster, and to reduce the concerns of potholes, and bumps. I think that building new roads will make it reliable for motorists who travel upon them everyday because they don't have to worry about flat tires,and hazardous items that could damage their vehicles. Especially during these tough economic times, it's hard to pay for damage that could happen to their cars.
I also encourage this article becaue building roads helps improve air quality, and the quality of life which the state needs. Also, the state lawmakers are expanding Highway 141 which makes it better for North, and South traffic because they can go to work faster. Expanding Highway 141 can reduce traffic which lessens the pollution in the air. Also, increasing Highway 141 won't make businesses lose money because every second there are traffic jams which cost the economy millions, but with this decision it will mkae the economy save money. Supporting, "City Goes Hungry," was hard but I had my views of this problem.
I don't support this article because I believe that the money needs to go to more than two causes. I think the money should go to St. Louis to have better schools, jobs, forms of energy, and houses. Lawmakers should rethink theri decision because I believe St. Louis is hurting more, especially driung these tough economic times. St. Louis is hurting because some of our businesses are filing for bankruptcy, some houses are going into foreclosure, schools need to be rebuilt, and our energy needs to be saved more. St. Louis should deserve better treatment because our money would go to more sufficient reasons.
I also don't support this article because St. Louis is being treated unfairly, and the lawmakers should hear what we want instead of what they want. I believe that highway 141 shouldn't be expanded because their blocking businesses that make money by tearing up the streets in front of there business, and not allowing customers access to them. Building a new highway makes for more noise pollution because their big machinery is causing a disruption to people that live along the road. I hope lawmakers make the right choice to vote "no," on this new decision, and try to realize that St. Louis needs more money for more needed things. These are my thoughts on supporting, and non supporting "City Goes Hungry."
This is better. However, in expanding your essay, you've raised a couple more questions.
that building new roads will make it reliable
If you intend "it" to refer to "roads," you need to use "them."
becaue building roads helps improve air quality . . .
Expanding Highway 141 can reduce traffic which lessens the pollution in the air.
Building more roads does not lessen air pollution; it usually increases with more vehicles using these roads.
If you run this through a spell-check and learn to use there, their, they're correctly, I'd probably grade it a B.
Dear Mrs. Sue,
I hope this message finds you well. I have made several revisions to the "City Goes Hungry" article based on your advice. I would greatly appreciate it if you could review and provide feedback on the updated version. If you need to refer back to the previous version, it was posted on the 14th. Thank you for your cooperation.
As I am in 9th grade, I would also like to request a letter grade for this article. Any additional comments or suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated.
Paragraph 1:
Supporting the article "City Goes Hungry," I approach the situation with a positive outlook. One reason for this is that rural Missourians are receiving funding from state lawmakers for the construction of new roads. Building and paving new roads can have several benefits, such as reducing accidents, enabling emergency vehicles to reach their destinations faster, and addressing concerns related to potholes and bumps. I believe that constructing new roads will make the daily commute more reliable for motorists, as they won't have to worry about flat tires or damage to their vehicles, especially during these tough economic times.
Paragraph 2:
Furthermore, I am in favor of this article because building roads can improve air quality and overall quality of life in the state. In this regard, the state lawmakers are expanding Highway 141, which will facilitate faster travel for both north and south traffic. By reducing traffic congestion, expanding Highway 141 can also help minimize pollution. Additionally, this decision holds the potential to save the economy millions of dollars that would otherwise be lost due to frequent traffic jams. Supporting "City Goes Hungry" has been challenging, but I believe in the positive impact it can have.
Paragraph 3:
On the other hand, I do not support this article because I believe that the allocated funds should be distributed to more than just two causes. Instead, I believe that the money should be directed towards improving schools, job opportunities, energy sources, and housing facilities in St. Louis. During these difficult economic times, St. Louis is facing numerous challenges, including businesses filing for bankruptcy, houses going into foreclosure, the need for school reconstruction, and the importance of conserving energy. Therefore, I firmly believe that St. Louis deserves better treatment, as the funds could be allocated for more essential purposes.
Paragraph 4:
Additionally, I am against the article because I believe that St. Louis is being treated unfairly, and the lawmakers should consider the desires of the people instead of solely pursuing their own agendas. Expanding Highway 141 could negatively impact businesses along the route by obstructing access and causing disruptions due to street tearing and noise pollution from machinery. It is my hope that lawmakers reconsider this decision and vote against it, acknowledging the pressing needs of St. Louis. These are my thoughts on both supporting and not supporting "City Goes Hungry."
Thank you for taking the time to review my revised article. I look forward to your feedback and grading.