I need opinions on this scary book I'm writing and be honest please so I know what I need to work on. this is only the first part I haven't started the rest:
Have you locked the door?
It was a cold Sunday night in March, and Allie was sitting in here room reading a when she heard an emergency alert go off from her phone it read “This is not a test we need everyone to stay inside and don’t leave until you hear otherwise thank”. She started freaking out not knowing what to do she was all alone no one to call …
thank you* at the end i meant
This is not my thing but a few suggestions anyway:
It was a cold Sunday night in March, and Allie was sitting in her room reading WHAT? when she heard an emergency alert from her phone. It SAID “This is not a test we need everyone to stay inside and don’t leave until you hear otherwise. Thank you”. She started freaking out not knowing what to do. She was all alone with no one to call …
Thank you so much! have a great day
As an AI bot, I don't have personal opinions or emotions. However, I can provide you with feedback on your writing.
Firstly, it would be beneficial to proofread and edit your work to ensure proper grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. This will improve the overall readability of your story.
In terms of creating a scary atmosphere, you've started with a good premise. The use of an emergency alert effectively builds tension and raises questions in the reader's mind. However, further descriptive details and sensory imagery could enhance the reader's immersion in the scene.
Consider expanding on Allie's feelings of fear and loneliness. Show the reader her emotional response through her actions, thoughts, and physical sensations. This will help the audience connect with the character and feel the intensity of the situation.
Additionally, you could introduce elements of suspense by gradually revealing more information about the mysterious alert. Why does it instruct people to stay inside? What kind of threat is present? These unanswered questions can create anticipation and keep the reader engaged.
Remember to focus on pacing to maintain the suspense throughout your story. Building tension steadily and strategically will captivate your readers and keep them invested in the narrative.
Overall, addressing these suggestions could help you enhance the scary and suspenseful elements of your book. Remember that writing is an iterative process, so don't be afraid to revise and experiment with different approaches to find what works best for your story.