Thesis statement help

I need help writing a thesis. Here are my topic sentences.

Question: Analyze the concerns and goals of participants in the Pilgrimage of Grace and of those who opposed the movement.

1. Participants in the Pilgrimage of Grace consisted of common people and men of status who shared concerns and goals involving corruption in government, the Scots, and religious liberties.

2. The main concern of the opposition was the direct impact the Pilgrimage of Grace would have on public order.

3. Social concerns existed in both parties, including the closing of monasteries, as well as a converging opinion on the ignorance of the people and how it would affect unity within England.

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asked by Amanda
  1. The concerns and goals of participants in the Pilgrimage of Grace and of those who opposed the movement varied in several distinctive ways.

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    posted by Toy
  2. Toy's suggestion for a thesis statement is a good start, but is not a real thesis statement yet. It includes factual information, but it needs your OPINION, your POSITION, your STANCE -- it needs to include your ATTITUDE about this topic.

    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html
    Read through the examples here to learn how to turn a non-thesis statement into a good thesis statement. You should look especially at the first, second, and fifth examples.

    Let us know what you come up with.

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  3. Analyze the concerns and goals of participants in the pilgrimage of grace and of those who opposed the movement

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    posted by chris
  4. Participants of the Pilgrimage of Grace were concerned primarily with obtaining back certain lost rights while those who opposed their movement wished to maintain order on their own terms.

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    posted by Mika
  5. meaning of cattle horn plow and chalace

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    posted by arushi
  6. Write a thesis sentence stating how and why it is more than just a piece of entertainment.

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  7. what is a good thesis statement for the importamt of play in early childhood education

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    posted by maria
  8. I need help on writing a thesis statement about how to make jamaican coconut drops

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    posted by kelly
  9. I'll make the my coconuts drop for you baby! ;)

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