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enlglish correction paragraph 2

And this is my other paragraph.

Hemingway shows love can be used as a tool for comfort of each other’s pain. At the beginning of the novel, Catherine tells Henry that her fiancé recently died, but she starts flirting with him anyways the second she meets him and shows no emotion of grief. She wants to move on with her life as quickly as possible and find someone to comfort her. Henry gives into his feelings as well because his life is in the ruins from the war and he wants to escape from the violence. At first, Henry refuses to fall in love with her, but his affection for her grows day by day and starts depending on her. Starting at that point, Henry and Catherine’s relationship goes from a game to real love. To prove he loves her, he goes to great lengths to get himself out of the war so Catherine won’t be alone. Both feel so confident in their love that they start planning their future, where they are going to live, and raise their unborn child, to make up for the lost time during war. At the end of the novel, Catherine gives birth to a son and unfortunately she dies from childbirth breaking Henry’s heart. Hemingway brings these two together to show that no matter how strong love is, love can bring tragic and pain in one’s life.


Hemingway shows love can be used as a tool for the comfort of each other’s pain. At the beginning of the novel<~~which one?, Catherine tells Henry that her fiancé recently died, but she starts flirting with him anyways<~~delete the "s" the second she meets him and shows no emotion of<~~delete "emotion of" grief. She wants to move on with her life as quickly as possible and find someone to comfort her. Henry gives into his feelings as well because his life is in the<~~delete "the" ruins from the war<~~insert comma and he wants to escape from the violence. At first, Henry refuses to fall in love with her, but his affection for her grows day by day and starts depending<~~?? his affection starts depending on her?? on her. Starting at that point<~~repetitious; delete "Starting at that point" and insert "From then on" for variety in phrasing, Henry and Catherine’s relationship goes from a game to real love. To prove he loves her, he goes to great lengths to get himself out of the war so Catherine won’t be alone. Both feel so confident in their love that they start<~~change "start" to "begin" -- again for variety in phrasing planning their future, where they are going to live,<~~delete comma and raise their unborn child, to make up for the lost time during war.<~~The whole last part of that sentence is awkward. Better to stop the sentence at "future" and start a new sentence -- rephrase to make sense. At the end of the novel, Catherine gives birth to a son<~~insert comma and unfortunately she dies from<~~change "from" to "in" childbirth<~~insert comma breaking Henry’s heart. Hemingway brings these two together to show that no matter how strong love is, love can bring tragic<~~change "tragic" to "tragedy" and pain in one’s life.

Again, you need to re-think how you're going to express this theme involving love.

=)

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david

  1. In this way being able to identify the points for improvement, the manager’s strengths and the weaknesses of each of his salespersons that make up the Carrier sales team.

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    Anonymous

  2. Many american are liveing beyond their means by abuseing thier credit cards. You concider their credit limit as another sourse of income and charge up to the limit then they had to pay enormous finance charges evry month because they have run their credit cards to the limit. They get into to much debit and spent all their paychecks before they receive them. Although they make enough money to live. They get into a situation where one cannot afford even the basics because he have two many debts

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    Anonymous

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