English

Tuesday, December 22nd, Fine, 2015

I got up early in the morning. Because I had to go to school, I washed my face quickly and drank warm water. Then with my school bag on my back, I went out. The bus stop is not far away from my apartment. However I had to walk to the bus stop for 10 minutes. After waiting for 5 minutes, I could see the number 7 bus coming. The door of the bus opened, and some people got off. I got on the bus with others standing in line. After 10 minutes' drive, I could get to the bus stop where I had to get off. My school is near the bus stop. I narrowly entered the school gate. Many students were running into the school gate not to be late.
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Would you check the sample diary above? Correct errors, please. Thank you.

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asked by rfvv
  1. I got up early in the morning.
    "I got up early in this morning"

    Make it sound like your writing it you know? And why doesn't this dude take the school bus? because I got kind of confused when you said some people were getting off the bus but then I realized that it was an actual bus other than a school bus. But maybe a school bus would be a better choice?

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  2. (^btw I mean "I got up early this morning")

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  3. I could get to the bus stop where I had to get off. My school is near the bus stop. I narrowly entered the school gate. Many students were running into the school gate not to be late.
    ============================
    Maybe:
    The bus reached the bus stop near my school where I get off. I got to the school gate just in time. Many students were running to the gate so they would not be late.

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    posted by Damon
  4. Shalee's suggestion works, but your sentence is okay as it is. Damon's suggestion is a good one. "narrowly" can mean that the gate was narrow and you had to squeeze through it. I know what you mean, but a different way of saying it that more specifically describes the time factor would be better. Also, it is not good grammar to begin a sentence with the word "however". You might better say, "The bus stop is not far from my apartment, however it still is a ten-minute walk." And remember, with numbers ten and under, we spell them out. "ten minutes", "five minutes,," etc.

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    posted by Reed

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