english help please!!

n no fewer than three sentences, critique the following paragraph. Explain where it could be improved. Then, in your own words, rewrite the paragraph to make its writing stronger. Make sure you include a hook, supporting evidence, and a topic sentence. Use correct spelling and grammar.

Playing in the snow is one of my happiest childhood memories. The winter offers more than a time for kids to have fun. There are many things to do in the snow. It is unfortunate that so many people find the wintertime annoying. More people should step outside to enjoy the snow. I am glad I grew up where it snows.

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  1. How would you like us to HELP you with this assignment?

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    Ms. Sue
  2. See if the paragraph needs to be fixed or its fine

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  3. That paragraph needs lots of work. Does it sound good to you? It's your job to figure out what's wrong with it.

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    Ms. Sue
  4. Ms. Sue... not helpful at all.

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