Describe "the culture of consumption" during the Eisenhower administration. How do you think such large-scale, new-found getting and spending influenced people's feelings about America?
This is what I have so far, but I am not sure that I am on the right track.
We should remember that we had just finished WWII and Korea. As a nation, we were at a pinnacle of production and fiscal fluidity; we were the only industrialized nation not rebuilding from WWII. At that point of our history, we were the world export leader, in manufactured goods as well as oil and raw materials. Having the export deficit created a net surplus of cash for us. Wages were up, the middle class was expanding and our discretionary spending was at an all time high. The 60's began a period of off-shore competition that has continued through today. As we became a net importing country, we have seen an erosion of the middle class, a decrease of wages and a rapid shrinking of the financial fluidity we once had. We still have a "culture of consumption" but it is largely financed with personal debt.
I have a few points that need clarifying.
(To set the stage, have you previously indicated the span of years that you are discussing?) We should remember that we had just finished WWII and Korea ("the Korean War"). As a nation, we were at a pinnacle of production and fiscal fluidity; we were the only industrialized nation (Do you exclude Canada as an industrialized nation?) not rebuilding from WWII. At that point of our history, we were the world export leader, (no comma.) in manufactured goods as well as oil (We exported more oil that the Arab countries?) and raw materials. Having the export deficit (We had a deficit in exports?) created a net surplus of cash for us. Wages were up, the middle class was expanding and our discretionary spending was at an all time high. The 60's ("1960s") began a period of off-shore competition (in what?) that has continued through today.
Use new paragraph to indicate change in ideas, places, persons or times.)
(When do you perceive the tide as turning?) As we became a net importing country, we have seen an erosion of the middle class, a decrease of wages (did wages actually decrease or did buying power decrease?) and a rapid shrinking of the financial fluidity we once had. We still have a "culture of consumption (Comma)" but it is largely financed with personal (and national?) debt.
You seem to be on the "right track," but you need to shore it up with a few more "ties." You need to paint the picture so exactly with words that your reader will accurately "see" (understand) what you do.
I hope this helps. Thanks for asking.