Business communication

can someone help me to correct it?
this message address to international employee. Message intend to announce a revenue drop caused by intensive competitive pressure

Howdy guys! Shouldn’t surprise anyone that we took a beating this year, given the insane pricing moves our knucklehead competitors have been making. I mean how those clowns can keep turning a profit is beyond me, what with steel costs still going through the roof and labour costs heating up – even in countries where everybody goes to find cheap labour – and hazardous waste disposal regs adding to operating costs too.

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asked by Artem
  1. Yikes! What an awful conglomeration of slang and idioms! Obviously, the whole memo needs to be completely rewritted.

    I'll be glad to check your edited version.

  2. what do you thinks about this?


    Ladies and Gentlemen:
    As you were informed, the company’s profit has resulted in relatively intensive pressure to push for tighter controls over all aspects of the business. Competitors in this field have grown stronger and smarter, that has prompted all of us to search for ways to cut costs. At the same time, production is facing cost increase on several fronts. Management will expect your support and cooperation.
    Moreover, marketing and advertising costs are expected to increase as we attempt to strengthen these activities to better cope with competitive pressure.


    Thank you for you time and help.

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    posted by Artem
  3. Can someone take a look ?

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    posted by Artem

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