Broadcast/english

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we had to write story in correct broadcast form in correct broadcast form, and include the soundbite. Based on this false information

information:
Kalamazoo, Michigan, is experiencing a severe snowfall which began yesterday. Past record snowfalls in Kalamazoo: 12.6 inches in December, 1978. Total for this storm according to the National Weather Service: 13.5 inches. Kalamazoo Mayor Robert Jones says it is a city emergency; all city offices closed; even Western Michigan University is closed! The snowplows were taken off the trucks because of all the nice weather we have been having. The worst damage was caused by a collapsed roof at the Fifth Third bank in downtown Kalamazoo. Three people were injured. A number of WMU students have been skiing through campus. Snow is expected to taper off later tonight. Soundbite from the Mayor: " We has to rig up some snowplows... we used road graders.. there was some damage to the streets because of that.. But as a test of our emergency procedures it was good. All of our police officers are working 15- hour shifts trying to help people. We don't know how long this is going to continue."

Caps are how my teacher says write it.
So,this is how I corrected it:

THREE PEOPLE WERE INJURED BY A COLLAPSED ROOF AT THE FIFTH THIRD BANK IN DOWNTOWN KALAMAZOO. THE NAMES OF THESE INJURED PEOPLE HAVE NOT BEEN RELEASED YET. KALAMAZOO HAS BEEN EXPERIENCING A SEVERE SNOWFALL SINCE YESTERDAY. ALL THE CITY OFFICES ARE CLOSED AS WELL AS WESTERN MICHIGAN UNIVERSITY. THE TOTAL FOR THIS STORM IS 13.5 INCHES. KALAMAZOO MAYOR ROBERT JONES SAYS THEY HAD TO RIG UP SOME SNOWPLOWS SINCE THE SNOWPLOWS WERE TAKEN OFF THE TRUCKS DUE TO PREVIOUS GOOD WEATHER. THEY HAD TO USE ROAD GRADERS, WHICH CAUSED DAMAGE TO THE STREETS. ALL OF THE POLICE OFFICERS ARE WORKING 15-HOUR SHIFTS TRYING TO HELP PEOPLE. ROBERT SAYS THAT HE IS NOT SURE HOW LONG THE SNOWFALL WILL CONTINUE.

  • Broadcast/english -

    The only correction -- and it's a major one. Never refer to an adult, let alone the mayor, by his first name!

  • Broadcast/english -

    thanks Ms. Sue!

  • Broadcast/english -

    You're welcome, Blaze.

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