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EnglishIII

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I'm writing an essay and was wondering if this part was okay.

I was eager for this day to end and summer begin. Despite my eagerness, I was excited about the “surprise” guest the school had booked to make this day special for our graduating class.

Should I just say simplify it and say "I was excited.."

  • EnglishIII -

    Yes.

    "Despite my eagerness" doesn't belong with "I was excited."

    You could insert "though" after "excited."

  • EnglishIII -

    Ok, thanks so much Ms. Sue!

  • EnglishIII -

    I'm sorry to bother again but would this work?

    Despite my eagerness for the day to end, I was excited about the “surprise” guest the school had booked to make this day special for our graduating class.

  • EnglishIII -

    Yes. That's very good!

  • EnglishIII -

    Ah Yay! Thank you (:

  • EnglishIII -

    You're welcome. :-)

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