is this essay persausive and can you check and fix any mistake topic is your surroundings create who you are
My surroundings create who I am. My parents help me by taking me to school picking me up from school. They also encourage me to do the best. They buy me school stuff. They provide cloths, food and a home. They help me reach my goals in my life and become successful. Others don’t have food, cloths, or a home. Others might not even be able to go to school. They might not even have someone to support them.
My friends don’t make me feel alone. They encourage me to do the right thing. They also encourage me to the best in school. If I don’t get something they will help me. Others may not have friends they may feel alone and no one to encourage them to do the right thing.
The teachers help me learn, so I can become successful in life and accomplish my dreams in life and make sure that I am doing the best. If I don’t get it they help me at anytime. They care about me. Others don’t have the opportunity to go to school and become successful and finish their dreams.
My brother and cousins tell me how to do stuff. Help me be more organize. They tell me what’s wrong and what’s right. They help me if I have a question on a homework problem and, they make sure I’m doing my homework right as well.
I am hardworking person my surroundings have created who I am. Because of their role model I will do my best and become a successful person. So your surroundings will create who you are. Your surroundings create your successful life or a not successful life.
The essay is persuasive as it presents arguments and points out how one's surroundings shape their identity and life.
To check for any mistakes and make improvements, I suggest reviewing the grammar, punctuation, and structure of the essay. Here are some suggestions:
"My surroundings create who I am. My parents help me by taking me to school and picking me up from school. They also encourage me to do my best and buy me school supplies. They provide clothes, food, and a home. Moreover, they support me in reaching my goals in life and becoming successful. In contrast, there are others who lack basic necessities such as food, clothes, and a home. They may not even have someone to support them.
Furthermore, my friends play a significant role in shaping me. They never make me feel alone, and their encouragement helps me make the right choices. They also motivate me to excel academically, and whenever I struggle with something, they are always there to assist. Sadly, there are individuals who lack friends and feel isolated, without anyone to guide or support them.
In addition, my teachers contribute to my development by providing a conducive learning environment. They help me understand new concepts and ensure that I am on the right path. I am fortunate to have the opportunity to attend school and work towards my dreams, unlike others who are deprived of education and struggle to fulfill their aspirations.
Moreover, my siblings and cousins play a crucial role in my life. They guide me, help me stay organized, and provide valuable feedback. Whenever I have questions or face difficulties in my homework, they are readily available to assist me.
I am a hardworking person, and my surroundings have played a significant role in shaping my identity. Through their positive influence and role modeling, I strive to do my best and become a successful individual. It is evident that our surroundings have a profound impact on our lives, determining whether we lead successful or unsuccessful lives."
This revised version addresses several areas for improvement such as the use of proper punctuation, sentence structure, and clarifying certain points. Remember to proofread the essay once again to ensure clarity and coherence.