Poetry, plz comment

posted by .

My fear:

I'm sitting out here hoping and moping
If only the rain
Got rid of the pain
And me being here would get rid of my fear
My fear of cheer
Some drown it in beer
It may seem queer but its another fear
'Cuz I actually want a career
And that wont happen if it got drowned in bee

Hoiw does this poem sound?? I have that and another one and I am submiting it to the school blog and I wanted some comments.

Darling of Darkness:

Darling of Darkness
Calling my name
Making me sane
Daring of Darkness
Showers in shame
Yet she can't be tamed

poease remember these are written by a 12 year old. thanks for any and all comments. ☺♦☻

  • Poetry, plz comment -

    Thanks to all who read.... I meant "How" not "Hiow" sorry.

  • Poetry, plz comment -

    I'm far from a poetry critic, but I think these poems are great!

  • Poetry, plz comment -

    Thanks. I get them in the school blog, but my problem is I don't know if these are good enough...

  • Poetry, plz comment -

    this was beautiful.

  • Poetry, plz comment -

    thanks. that really gave me some confidence about them........ ☺☻♥

Respond to this Question

First Name
School Subject
Your Answer

Similar Questions

  1. Eng Ms. Sue

    I'm using fear as the main cause of war and I have some reasons why but I need some more. This is what I have. I need some more reasons for why fear is the main cause of war thank you. When people are scared they don't think rationally, …
  2. English Ms. Sue

    How would I explain my reason fear can cause war because they might believe their is no other solution?
  3. writing

    This book is called "The Most Dangerous Game" My question is, Whitney claims animals understand fear-the fear of death and the fear of pain. Does Rainsford agree?
  4. grammar

    In his first inaugural address, President Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." is this correct punctuation?
  5. English

    My essay, the writing centre told me that my introduction essay was not to the point of being a succesful student. So I changed it. Here, could you please help me rephrase it .. My two most important points are the TWO STEPS : Daily …
  6. English

    I left out a last thing on the questionnaire. Whicf of the following should be evaluate a mistake?
  7. English

    Cry, the Beloved Country refers at various points to the fear that exists in South African society. According to the novel, what are the causes of this fear and what are the consequences of this fear?
  8. English

    Is this sentence grammatically correct? "Many times, women are blinded and silenced by fear, the fear of being different and thinking differently, especially in a culture that oppresses women."
  9. Social

    Which of the following was a key factor in the passage of the Emergency Quota Act in 1921?
  10. Health care Management

    Which of the following is one reason why some managers are reluctant to delegate authority?

More Similar Questions