Opinions wanted

posted by .

My book flew across the room as another huge wave crashed against the ship. This was the worst vacation of my my life.

My fairy warned me this wasn't the time for a trip around the world, but did I listen? NOOOO, I was convinced that there was no wrong time too see the world. I was wrong and she was right... as usual. I have got to start listening to that girl!

This is not an assignment but I would appreciate your critique.

  • Repost question -

    Is this the start to a story, essay, or are you just writing this for fun?

    What is it you want us to give our opinnion on?

    Please repost better directions.


  • Opinions wanted -

    Hi, Allyson. It is not written in the best grammar and the sentences are chopped. Try working on it some more.

  • Opinions wanted -

    O.k. by the way this is only the beginning.
    And to answer Allysons questions:
    yes I'm writing this for fun and I just want your opimion on the story so far. If you would like to give me some different ideas on how the story could go, that would be cool too.

  • Opinions wanted -

    All opinions are greatly appreciated. Please don't worry about being nice, just be honest.

    In a few days I probably will have some more posted.

  • Opinions wanted -

    check the spelling of "too" which should be "to"

    I like the beginning! Just let your imagination run with it.


Respond to this Question

First Name
School Subject
Your Answer

Similar Questions

  1. math

    There are thirty-five (35) members in the Kalamazoo Travel Club. Four (4) people will be chosen to win a vacation. How many ways can the four (4) be chosen if one will win a trip to Grand Rapids, Michigan, one will win a trip to Detroit, …
  2. Sep.11/01

    Tomorrow will be the 9th anniversary of the worst terrorist attacks on American soil, when the Twin Towers were destroyed, the Pentagon was attacked, and Flight 93 crashed into a field in Pennsylvania. Did the terrorists wanted to …
  3. Math

    If Rupert flew 3/16 of the way around the world but George only flew 4/9 as far as Rupert, how far around the world did George fly?
  4. math

    Rupert flew 3/16 of the way around the world, but George only flew 4/9 as far as Rupert how far around the world did George fly?
  5. Math

    Rupert flew 3/16 of the way around the world but George flew 4/9 as far as Rupert. How far around the world did George Fly?
  6. English

    I just wanted to know if the following word choices are possible. 1) I spend 5 Euro (or Euros?
  7. English

    Writeacher, here are my sentences on phrasal verbs I urgently need you to check. Thank you. 1) I can’t get around to thanking you for your hospitality.I’ll get back at you for being so rude to me. 2) When will you get around to …
  8. 7th grade social studies help quick please

    1. Who invented the caravel, or the first ship to be able to sail against the wind?
  9. math

    in 1933 wiley post flew around the world in 7 DAYS 18 HOURS. WILEYS TRIP WOULD BEST BE DESCRIBED AS FLYING AROUND THE ?
  10. Physics

    A woman is swimming when she hears the underwater sound wave from an exploding ship across the harbor. She immediately lifts her head out of the water. The sound wave from the explosion propagating through the air reaches her 4.00 …

More Similar Questions