English 1301

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So I think I just might be over thinking these run-on sentences, but I keep second guessing myself and need some help with these sentences:

1. Death Valley National Monument, located in California and Nevada, is one of the hottest places on Earth, temperatures there have soared as high as 134 degree Fahrenheit.

i corrected it in two different ways.

Death Valley National Monument, located in California and Nevada, is one of the hottest places on Earth with temperatures that have soared as high as 134 degree Fahrenheit.

Death Valley National Monument, located in California and Nevada, is one of the hottest places on Earth. Temperatures there have soared as high as 134 degrees Fahrenheit.

2. Anamaria opened the boxes crammed with toys out sprang griffins, dragons, and phoenixes.

Anamaria opened the crammed boxes filled with toys, and out sprang griffins, dragons, and phoenixes.

Anamaria opened the boxes crammed with toys, and out sprang griffins, dragons, and phoenixes.

Anamaria opened the boxes crammed with toys; out sprang griffins, dragons, and phoenixes.

3. Subatomic physics is filled wuth strange and marvelous particles, tiny bodies of matter that shiver, wobble, pulse, and flatten to no thickness at all.

Subatomic physics is filled with strange and marvelous particles−tiny bodies of matter that shiver, wobble, pulse, and flatten to no thickness at all.

4. As his first major project, Frederick Law Olmsted designed New York City's Central Park, on of the most beautiful urban spaces in the United States.

Correct???

5. The neurosurgeon explained that the medication could have one side effect, it might cause me to experience temporary memory loss.

The neurosurgeon explained that the medication could have one side effect: it might cause me to experience temporary memory loss.

The neurosurgeon explained the medication could have one side effect that might cause me to experience temporary memory loss.

  • English 1301 -

    The 2nd number 3 = The most common versions of the dash are the en dash (–) and the em dash (—).

    Everything else looks OK.

    Sra

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