English

posted by .

I really need you to check these sentences on Owen's poem please.

1)In the second stanza, most of the soldiers succeed in putting on their clumsy gas masks. Someone, however, is still crying out for help, unable to move quickly and easily enough to put on his mask, as if he's stuck in fire or lime.
2) Through the misty green panes of the gas mask, the poet sees (not saw) his friend who looks as if he is (were: since it is not true) drowning in the deadly gas. 3) The memory of his dying friend returns in his dreams, and he cannot stop them. The poet cannot help seeing his friend, lunging at him as he asks for help and then is dying.
4) His friend moves towards him, like a guttering candle which is about to go out, choking and drowning.
5) In the third stanza, the poet wonders if the readers can imagine walking behind a wagon into which his (not their) dying friends had been thrown once they couldn't walk. (is it OK to use the past here though the rephrase is in the simple present?)
6) He wonders if readers can see his friend's face, with its (or his?) skin starting to fall off, and his white eyes writhing.

Thank you

  • English -

    4. "like a guttering candle" I know there is such an expression, but, = could that be "sputtering" or glittering candle or flickering candle?"

    5. For "sequence of tense" I prefer "has"

    Sra

  • English -

    2. This reads strangely to me with "were" even though it's correct that it's a 'contrary to fact' use of the subjunctive. You'll have to read it aloud and decide. I'd keep "is" but you may want to keep "were."

    5. In the third stanza, the poet wonders if the readers can imagine walking behind a wagon into which their dying friends have been thrown once they cannot walk.

    6. Keep "its" since the reference is to "skin." Remove the comma after "off."

  • English -

    Here are some webpages to help explain ...

    ... sequence of tenses
    http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/verbs.htm#sequence
    Be sure to click on the word HERE to see the chart provided.

    ... pronoun/antecedent agreement
    http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/pronouns.htm

Respond to this Question

First Name
School Subject
Your Answer

Similar Questions

  1. English

    Thank you very much for helping me! Your information was really of help can you say that?
  2. English

    I really need your help to rephrase the following lines taken from Owen's "Dulce et decorum est". I included a lot of question marks for the parts to rephrase. 1)In the second stanza the soldiers succeed in putting on thier clumsy …
  3. English

    I really need to have a look at the first stanza of Owen's poem as I'm unsure of tense choice. Thank you. 1) In the first stanza the soldiers are retreating towards their trenches. Instead of being youthful, strong fighters, they are …
  4. English

    I still have a few parts I'm unsure of. I really hope you can help me. It's urgent, especially the last paragraph n.7 1)In the second stanza, the soldiers succeed in putting on their clumsy gas masks. Someone, however, is still crying …
  5. English

    I did the corrections myself. I included them in brackets. Can you see if they are correct?
  6. English

    I really need to know if all the coorections are OK. It is really urgent. 1)The subject of the poem is the description of some soldiers while they are retreating through (toward) their trenches. 2)They should be young and strong but, …
  7. English

    Thank you very much. Could you please help me check these sentences?
  8. Art

    I urgently need you, Writeacher, to check these sentences. Thank you very much in advance. 1)He uses a particular salt, adds it to other components and brings it to the boil. Once the boiling (better ebullution?
  9. english

    i need a poem with 4 stanzas 3 line each with 1. stanza of metaphor 1. stanza of simile 1.stanza of refrain and 1.stanza of hyperbole
  10. English

    I'm asking many questions about the same poem "On the Pulse of Morning" because I have no thought on what it means stanza by stanza. Can someone explain it to me?

More Similar Questions