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need help editing and grammar for this journal


Journal # 4 David Renaldo Monday, November 1st 2013
These past few weeks have been chaotic for me. I started to believe that my parents were starting to give me the independence which I think I deserve. Now I think they are trying to gain more control.

I think most people would view this as normal for an 18 year-old who is at a stage where he rebels over trivial things. This is not the case for me. Throughout my childhood and even now, my parents dominate every aspect of my life. During my year in middle school my parents would hire some teachers in my school to keep a watch on me so that I would not get into “trouble”. These teachers that were hired would give my parents a weekly report on what was going on in my school life like what I did during lunch hours, whether I was in the library studying for tests that were to take place later in the week or hanging out with my friends.

In some classes I had, I think my parents hired a spy as a instructor. These classes were a nightmare because every time a question was asked by the instructor I would be picked to answer even if there were several hands up. The worst part of having teachers hired to keep watch over me is that I had no option for failure; I was expected to have the top marks and most involvement in school. Every time I would question their tactics they would tell me that teenagers are like scattered puzzles. The teachers would tell me that teenagers have no sense of direction and will end up in a path of failure without the guidance of their parents.

I agree with my teachers to some extent, but I don’t believe my parents need to be so watchful over me. Recently my parents came up with the idea to send me to a private university starting this December, so that I could study neuroscience in a clean environment. Forget the expensive tuition fees, there is no way that I am going to study neuroscience. I prefer studying artistic things which I can mold using my imagination rather than facts which everyone can study. Anyways, I need to find a way to get them off my back and start being independent.
Journal # 5
Monday December 1st 2013
It’s been a month since I last wrote in here and allot of things occurred during the short period of time. Where should I begin, first of all I told my parents that I wasn’t going to go to study neuroscience and that I was moving out. After moving out I enjoyed the freedom of not having someone constantly look over your even though is still felt like someone was watching me. It was difficult to maintain a good standard of living while working at burger joint and paying for an expensive apartment, it didn’t even take week till I went back feeling totally defeated. I had trouble finding a means of transport which was usually provided by my parents and I was lacking in money to buy a decent amount of food every day. I tried borrowing money from the bank but I ended up with a bad loan costing my 7% interest every month. The bills from utility to heating overwhelmed me so much that I almost called my parents for help on several occasions. After I gave up and went back home, nothing much changed , I still had to attend the private university to take neuroscience and was still pressured to be the best. But it seemed that my parents backed off a little and tried not to intervene in my decision whether they were poor or not.

  • grammar -

    Journal # 4 David Renaldo Monday, November 1st 2013
    These past few weeks have been chaotic for me: I started to believe that my parents were starting to give me the independence which I think (thought?) I deserve. Now I think they are trying to gain more control.

    I think most people would view this as normal for an 18 year-old who is at a stage where he rebels over trivial things. This is not the case for me. Throughout my childhood and even now, my parents dominate every aspect of my life. During my year in middle school my parents would hire some teachers in my school to keep a watch on me so that I would not get into “trouble”. These teachers that were hired would give my parents a weekly report on what was going on in my school life like what I did during lunch hours, whether I was in the library studying for tests that were to take place later in the week or hanging out with my friends.

    In some classes I had, I think my parents hired a spy as a instructor. These classes were a nightmare because every time a question was asked by the instructor I would be picked to answer even if there were several hands up. The worst part of having teachers hired to keep watch over me is that I had no option for failure; I was expected to have the top marks and most involvement in school. Every time I would question their tactics they would tell me that teenagers are like scattered puzzles. The teachers would tell me that teenagers have no sense of direction and will end up in a path of failure without the guidance of their parents.

    I agree with my teachers to some extent, but I don’t believe my parents need to be so watchful over me. Recently my parents came up with the idea to send me to a private university starting this December, so that I could study neuroscience in a clean environment. Forget the expensive tuition fees, there is no way that I am going to study neuroscience. I prefer studying artistic things which I can mold using my imagination rather than facts which everyone can study. Anyways, I need to find a way to get them off my back and start being independent.

    Journal # 5
    Monday December 1st 2013

    It’s been a month since I last wrote in here and allot of things occurred during the short period of time. Where should I begin; first of all I told my parents that I wasn’t going to go to study neuroscience and that I was moving out. After moving out I enjoyed the freedom of not having someone constantly look over your even though is still felt like someone was watching me. It was difficult to maintain a good standard of living while working at burger joint and paying for an expensive apartment, it didn’t even take week till I went back feeling totally defeated. I had trouble finding a means of transport which was usually provided by my parents and I was lacking in money to buy a decent amount of food every day. I tried borrowing money from the bank but I ended up with a bad loan costing my 7% interest every month. The bills from utility to heating overwhelmed me so much that I almost called my parents for help on several occasions. After I gave up and went back home, nothing much changed , I still had to attend the private university to take neuroscience and was still pressured to be the best. But it seemed that my parents backed off a little and tried not to intervene in my decision whether they were poor or not.

    only a few mistakes! Really good too!!!!! Now do you want to tell me what Lysosomes are? (btw I corrected it!)
    ;)

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