french

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Please correct my French homework.?
I try my best... I translated English to French.
Merci d'avance

The prince tries to follow her but it seems that it is too late. He is disappointed in her. He sits down on the stair. He feels hopeless and thinks that he would have no chance to meet her again. Fortunately, he sees Cinderella’s crystal shoe drops at the stair down there. He has an idea that he might finds her soon. He starts to make an announcement that he wants all ladies in his kingdom to come and try the crystal shoe.

Oh, the poor prince, he cannot know what happens when Cinderella leaves just a crystal shoe there. She has just an another crystal shoe with her. It’s sure that she cannot walks or runs correctly. Finally, she stumbles, falls down to the ground and then she breaks one of her legs! She completely becomes the disabled…

Three years later.. the prince still cannot finds Cinderella because she cannot comes to try the shoe as she cannot walk anymore. The prince realizes that he has no chance to meet her again. He starts a new plan. He travels outside his kingdom to look for the right princess to marry with. Finally, he finds her and he thinks this is his second love at the first sight! The prince brings her back to his kingdom and lives happily ever after

Le fils du roi essaie de la suivre mais il semble qu’il soit trop tard. Il est déçu par elle. Il s'assied sur l’escalier. Il est sans espoir et pense qu’il n’a pas encore de la chance de la rencontrer. Heureusement, il regarde des pantoufles de vair de Cendrillon tomber dans l'escalier. Il a dans l'idée qu'il pouvait la trouver bientôt. Il commence à faire une annonce qu’il veut toutes les dames dans son royaume de venir et essayer des pantoufles de vair.

Ô, le pauvre fils du roi, il ne peut pas savoir ce que se passe quand Cendrillon juste laisse des pantoufles de vair là. Elle a eu juste une autre pantoufle de vair avec elle. C’est sûr qu’elle n’a pas pu marcher ou courir correctement. Finalement, elle trebuche, tombe par terre et puis elle se casse la jambe! Elle devient handicapée complètement.

Trois ans plus tard… Le fils du roi encore ne peut pas trouver Cendrillon car elle ne peut pas venir de essayer des pantoufles comme elle ne peut pas marcher plus. Il commence un nouveau plan. Il voyage à l'extérieur de son royaume de chercher une bonne princesse pour se marier. Finalement, Il la trouve et pense qu’il est le deuxième amour à première vue. Cendrillon épouse le fils du roi charmant , ils vivent heureux et ont beaucoup d'enfants.

  • french -

    First of all, what were the instructions of what you were to do? If you were to tell the story of Cinderella, it is a BAD idea to write it out first in English. I can not tell if that is what you did. Here's the KEY to telling a story: SIMPLIFY, using verbs, vocabulary that you have studied. That way you will not waste a lot of time looking up words. Naturally, you will not know ALL the vocabulary you would like to use, so you will have to look up some.

    Since this is rather long and my eyes will not scan up and down , up and down, let me print what you have done. Then it will be easier for me to correct it. I'll get back to you.

    Sra (aka Mme)

  • french -

    It would be easy to make your story more "sophisticated" by taking 2 simple sentences, combining them into a complex one. An example might be: Il est décu par elle. Il s'assied sur l'escalier. I est sans espoir, etc. = Complètement décu (par elle), il s'assied sur l'escalier, sns espoir, etc.

    il n'a pas encore de chance

    il regarde des pantoufles de cristal

    Il a l'idée qu'il pourrait (you might like the Conditional rather than the Imperfect?)

    I think it's best with the Subjunctive, if you have had that, here: il veut que toutes les dames dans son roaume viennent pour essayer les pantoufles de cristal.

    il ne peut pas savoir ce qui se passe

    I'd leave out the "juste" = elle vient d'y laisser des pantoufles de cristal = she just leaves

    Elle a eu une autre pantoufle de cristal

    elle trébuche (accent grave)

    Elle devient complètement handicapée (adverbs usually to after the verb)

    elle ne peut pas venir d'essayer (or pour essayer)

    elle ne peut plus marcher (rather than double negative?)

    Here's an easy place to combine: nouveau plan et voyage...pour chercher...our se marier avec elle

    pense qu'elle est le deuxième amour

    Now is the king or his son charming? ...le fils charmant du roi

    ils vivent heureusement (adverb better than adjective)

    Sra (aka Mme)

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