posted by Sara
Ms. Sue you know the English paragraph I was working on right, well I got some feedback on it from two of my friends and this is what they said.
the 1st one said: Positive Things
She liked my 2nd sentence, and she liked the way I used rapidly.
Negative Things: She found the 7th sentence hard to comprehend, and she said that its in past tense.
The second on said:Positive Things
She liked my opening sentence and she sais that she liked the detail in the 7th sentence. She aslo said that I minimum spelling errors.
She said that in the fourth sentence if shouldn't be there and that the 13th sentence should say... too weak to take it. And for the 5th sentence she wants to know what kind of pain I'm talking about.
Over all they said its good, but could be better.
Ms. Sue After fixing all errors, I will post this paragraph on here, and can you please edit it. Thanks:-)