posted by .

Could someone re-word this for me?? My instructor did not like the structure:
Soon after warm weather ,and springtime rolls around, high school seniors across the country have only one thing is on his or her minds: GRADUATION PARTIES!!! As a ritual that marks a change in each young adults social sexual status, graduation night ,in the eyes of youth, is beyond compare. It is a night to look forward to the future , to celebrate past achievements. and most importantly, to be proud of his or her self. Nevertheless, a number of teen agers in today’s society, erroneously believe that the nonpareil approach to commemorate a graduation night occasion is to consume alcoholic beverages; to a point of obliviousness. Precendently, graduation celebrations involving alcoholic beverages, mixed with narcotics, have left some graduating seniors with hangovers, embarrassing memories, and in trouble with their parents, friends, and the police. Some others were not so lucky. There were seven teenagers killed in alcohol related crashes in Ohio’s 2005 graduation season. Graduation parties should be fun, not fatal. The idea of all night, chemical free graduation party appeals to young adults...

All school-related functions are supposed to be chemical-free, but what makes Project Graduation different is the attitude of the students. They have made a conscious decision to enjoy their graduation night without alcohol or drugs. In addition, no other group, including parents and school personnel, can make that decision for students.

It is imperative to let the other seniors know that letters will be sent to all parents explaining the party’s rules and asking for their help so that students will feel that the organizers are being “up front” in all aspects of the planning process. The students need to understand that, while Project Graduation is a party for seniors, it can be enhanced with help from parents and other adults. In addition, adult volunteers will be fundamental on the night of the party to act as food servers, chaperones, etc., so that planners may be free to enjoy the festivities with the rest of the class.

For the perfect Graduation party, you do not need to spend more money than usual to have a great time. This party will take place at a private residence, and will be totally supervised. If at any time one of the major rules is broken (alcohol or drug use), those seniors involved in such activities will be asked to leave. Either willing or by having a police escort.


    What exactly is your assignment?

    What did your instructor say about your structure?

Respond to this Question

First Name
School Subject
Your Answer

Similar Questions

  1. English

    Guess what the pictures are about on this page?
  2. After-school activities for high school students

    I recently received a job to work in an after-school program designed for high school students. I have to organize and plan various activities for these students to do; however, this is my first time working with high school students …
  3. Technology~bobpursley

    25. Briefly explain the difference between product design and system design. 25. There are a few differences between system design and product design. System design deals with the arrangement of components to produce a desired result. …
  4. college math

    The number of seniors at Freedom High School was 421 in 2002. If the number of seniors increases at a rate 1.7% per year, how many seniors will be in the class of 2014?
  5. English

    Please give me some suggestions on how I can improve this. Thanks. Why I agree with students staying home from school during cold weather in Vietnam. Imagine putting on wet clothes and facing a cold wind. This is what winter feels …
  6. English

    The questions I selected are as follows. I'd like you to improve my vocabulary. 1) Why did you decide to join the school/or students' exchange?
  7. Math

    Kendall asked 40 randomly-selected seniors at his high school about their plans for after they graduated. Twenty-nine students said they planned to go to college. If there are 380 seniors at Kendall’s high school, estimate the number …
  8. Algebra 2

    write an equation to solve each problem There is only one freshman in the cast of the high school musical. There are 6 sophomore and 11 juniors. One third of the cast are seniors. How may seniors are in the musical?
  9. English 1

    DOES THIS SOUND GOOD? Revise the sentences below to improve fluency. Specifically, add variety to the sentence types, and use transitional words so that sentences flow smoothly. 18. Summer is my favorite season. I enjoy the warm weather.
  10. Stastics

    Can someone help me and let me know if what I have solved is correct. A researcher randomly surveyed 300 high school seniors and determined 225 stated they drive a car to high school. We are interested in the population proportion …

More Similar Questions