Grammar and Composition

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for my descriptive essay, my teachaer approved the Asheville outline that i made...that's why i was waiting to start writing.
here is the extended outline. please make any corrections:

Broad Subject: vacation spots
Limited Topic: Asheville, North Carolina
Main idea about this topic: fun place
Thesis without three-step format: Asheville is a fun and relaxing place to visit
Three-step Format for thesis: river, picnic spots, ice-cream parlor
Thesis with three-step format: Asheville, North Carolina, is a fun and relaxing place to visit because of its refreshing river, beautiful picnic spots, and various ice-cream parlors.

Outline
Introduction: Paragraph 1
a. Main idea for the essay – Asheville is a fun place
b. Thesis-Asheville, North Carolina, is a fun and relaxing place to visit because of its refreshing river, beautiful picnic spots, and various ice-cream parlors.

Body: Topic sentences for paragraphs 2, 3, and 4
a. Asheville’s river is refreshing and relaxing (paragraph 2)
b. The picnic spots are beautiful and peaceful (paragraph 3)
c. There are various ice-cream parlors for more fun and enjoyment (paragraph 4)

Conclusion: Paragraph 5
a. Restated thesis statement—Asheville is a good vacation spot
b. Ends with a clincher—


(i'm not sure about the last thing--clincher)

  • Grammar and Composition -

    a. Main idea for the essay – Asheville is a fun place
    b. Thesis-Asheville, North Carolina, is a fun and relaxing place to visit because of its refreshing river, beautiful picnic spots, and various ice-cream parlors.

    Body: Topic sentences for paragraphs 2, 3, and 4
    a. Asheville’s river is refreshing and relaxing (paragraph 2)
    b. The picnic spots are beautiful and peaceful (paragraph 3)
    c. There are various ice-cream parlors for more fun and enjoyment (paragraph 4)

    Conclusion: Paragraph 5
    a. Restated thesis statement—Asheville is a good vacation spot
    b. Ends with a clincher—

  • Grammar and Composition -

    i'm not sure why it's not showing...

    Outline
    Introduction: Paragraph 1
    a.Main idea for the essay – Asheville is a fun place
    b.Thesis-Asheville, North Carolina, is a fun and relaxing place to visit because of its refreshing river, beautiful picnic spots, and various ice-cream parlors.

    Body: Topic sentences for paragraphs 2, 3, and 4
    a.Asheville’s river is refreshing and relaxing (paragraph 2)
    b.The picnic spots are beautiful and peaceful (paragraph 3)
    c.There are various ice-cream parlors for more fun and enjoyment (paragraph 4)

    Conclusion: Paragraph 5
    a.Restated thesis statement—Asheville is a good vacation spot
    b.Ends with a clincher—

    (i'm not sure about the last thing--clincher)

  • Grammar and Composition -

    ex.

    Broad Subject: Frank O’Conner’s “First Confession”
    Limited Topic: Jackie’s trait (Jackie is a character in “First Confession.”)
    Main idea about this topic: childishness (He is a character who demonstrated childish actions in “First Confession.”)
    Thesis without three-step format: The main trait of Jackie is in his childishness
    Three-step Format for thesis: responses, outlook, anger
    Thesis with three-step format: Jackie’s childishness is emphasized in his responses, outlook, and anger.


    Outline
    Introduction: Paragraph 1
    a.Main idea for the essay—Jackie’s childishness
    b.Thesis—Jackie’s childishness is emphasized in his responses, outlook, and anger

    Body: Topic sentences for paragraphs 2, 3, and 4
    a.Jackie’s responses show childishness impressionability (paragraph 2)
    b.His outlook reflects the simplicity of a child (paragraph 3)
    c.His anger is also that of a child (paragraph 4)

    Conclusion: Paragraph 5
    a.Restated thesis statement—Jackie seems real as a child
    b.Ends with a clincher—the reality and consistency of Jackie as a child

  • Grammar and Composition -

    That outline should work well. Don't worry about the clincher until you've completed at least your first draft.

    Tips -- you may want to use a thesaurus to find colorful synonyms. The word "fun" should only be used once (if at all) in your descriptive essay.

    Also -- avoid using the "to be" verbs (am, is, are, was, were, being, been). Almost all verbs should be action words and in active, not passive.

    Good luck. Please post your essay in a couple of days after you've revised your first draft.

  • Grammar and Composition -

    http://thesaurus.reference.com/

  • Grammar and Composition -

    ok thanks. i'm only supposed to turn in my first draft. i don't have to revise it or even finalize it. 'For the Descriptive Essay, you will ONLY CREATE A DRAFT of your essay'

    so i will post it up as soon as i'm done. or if i need help

    thanks again

  • Grammar and Composition -

    Since you only need to turn in a draft of your essay, you don't really need the Jiskha teachers for that.

  • Grammar -

    what is the main idea

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