nutrition and wellness research paper

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is this a good thesis statement for my research paper on Diet and Diabetes?
Topic: Diet and Diabetes
Thesis: Diet and diabetes are very strongly connected to each other because out of the many aspects we can explore about diabetes, diet is the major weapon against this chronic disease.

  • nutrition and wellness research paper -

    please help me quick

  • nutrition and wellness research paper -

    It would help if we knew the main points of your body paragraphs (just a phrase or sentence on what you will/have discussed in each paragraph).

    However, your thesis now seems unnecessarily wordy.

    If you are writing mainly about ways to cure/impede diabetes, what you have said in your thesis can be shortened to "diet is the most important factor in fighting diabetes."

    However, if your paper is more broad and discusses how poor diet can lead to diabetes, you could consider that in your thesis:
    Diet is not only a cause of diabetes, but also the most important factor in fighting it.

  • nutrition and wellness research paper -

    How impatient you are!

    Try simplifying that sentence. It's too repetitive and wordy. Keep only the main idea you will work on proving by means of your paper.

    http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/acadwrite/thesistatement.html

  • nutrition and wellness research paper -

    well, thanks you guys

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