English- Sentence Structure

posted by Kara

There are many potential elements that need to be considered before the main root to war being beneficial is found.

I wrote this sentence is there another way to re-word it so it can sound stronger (using the same basic idea that I had)

  1. Writeacher

    The problems in this sentence are these:

    1. "There are many potential elements that need ..."
    Reworded -- Many elementas need to be considered...

    2. "the main root to war"
    Reworded -- the main cause of war

    3. "war being beneficial"
    Reworded -- as a beneficial human activity

    Now ... you do all the rewording to put all that together. Work on using FEWER words than in your original sentence. It's too wordy, for one thing.

  2. Kara

    Everybody has their own perspective of war as being a beneficial human activity. Many elements need to be considered before the main root principle of war is recognized.

    How do I fix the pronoun agreement mistake? (Everybody has their) I got marked down for this last time. Help is appreciated

  3. Writeacher

    How about this?

    Everybody has his/her own perspective of war as being a beneficial human activity.


    All people have their own perspectives of war as being a beneficial human activity.

  4. Anonymous

    Neither the searing pain in my toe nor the blinding rain in my face will keep me from finishing the race.

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