Can you profread this for me please?
Overall the essay is very well developed and has some good concepts. After reading the entire essay I found the statement of conflict paragraph to be the weakest. The topic sentence that use really grabs the readers attention. The concepts that you used lacked good reasoning behind them. You start off strong backing up the concept that you used. Then when you begin explaining why it doesnt alter the orignial conflict you don't provide strong enough reasons for why it doesnt/ To improve this area of your paper next time make sure you expand throughly on your thoughts. Providing more detail will always make your concepts stronger. I would recommend for the process of elimination part that you use at least five concepts. By doing this it will help your paragraph become stronger and show that their are many reasons to why they don't alter the orignial conflict before you get to your solution. The solution to your problem works really well. Expand a little more on your solution next time because your reasonings sort of sound the same. Your closing sentence of the paragraph could be stronger because it doesnt really have that wow factor that readers might expect. Remember that you always want to exit with a strong thought that readers will remember. This paragraph needs some fixing up but the rest of your essay is outstanding. Take these recommendations into consideration so next time your paper will be brillant.
It would help if you put all the positive comments together and all the negative comments together. Having them mixed up like this is extremely difficult to follow.
Is the grammar good though? I will change it and put all the positive and then all the negative together.
2 errors in here:
" The topic sentence that use really grabs the readers attention."
Do you see them?
3 errors in here:
"Then when you begin explaining why it doesnt alter the orignial conflict you don't provide strong enough reasons for why it doesnt/ "
See them?
1. Read the whole thing aloud to find the obvious errors.
2. Use apostrophes correctly.
3. Group positive and negative comments.
Sure! Here is the corrected version of your text:
Overall, the essay is very well-developed and has some good concepts. After reading the entire essay, I found that the paragraph stating the conflict is the weakest. The topic sentence does not effectively grab the reader's attention. Additionally, the concepts used lack solid reasoning. Although you start off strong by backing up the concepts, when you explain why they don't alter the original conflict, the reasons provided are not strong enough. To improve this area of your paper in the future, make sure to expand thoroughly on your thoughts. Providing more details will always make your concepts stronger.
For the process of elimination part, I would recommend using at least five concepts. This will help strengthen your paragraph and show that there are multiple reasons why they don't alter the original conflict before you get to your solution. Speaking of the solution, it works really well. However, next time, try to expand a little more on your solution as your reasonings sort of sound the same. Additionally, your closing sentence could be stronger, as it lacks the wow factor that readers might expect. Remember, you always want to leave the reader with a strong thought that they will remember.
This paragraph needs some fixing up, but the rest of your essay is outstanding. Take these recommendations into consideration, and next time, your paper will be brilliant.