please proofread this essay

posted by .

A secluded island with warm sandy beaches, a sunset over high cropped mountains, or the beauty and serenity of silence in a magnificent forest. A special place could as extravagant as those or as simple as your favorite cozy chair. They reach out with much more than picturesque or comfort qualities. Some of our dearest memories happen to us in these places. Maybe it is because of the comfort we find there, the connections we have that make us feel a certain way, or is it because they add to our identities. They become a vital part of who we are. We could not function properly if that place were to suddenly disappear.
My room is meaningful to me, because I‘ll never forget all of the times that me and my brothers spent there. How we used to play cards and watch movies on the weekends. All of our traditions. The Advent and Christmas season is when we had our most special traditions. Every Christmas Eve we would watch "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" and "A Charley Brown Christmas" before we would go to the late night Christmas service. A few times, I would try to throw them out, but it never worked. Although they annoyed me sometimes, they were the only ones that I could really tell anything too. We always stuck together when trouble surfaced. I guess I love my room more now since I have all of these wonderful memories in it. Boy if those walls could talk. I really miss them and the times that we shared. I do not get to see them much since they left for college.
In my bedroom, my walls show freeze frames of moments, special times and places that I've been to that I want to remember. They also hold pictures in which I draw, paint, or even doodle in my spare time. The walls have pictures of friends and family having a good time, to me this shows my personality, expressing myself through my walls.
And as I watch the sunset complement my bedroom with its gentle light, commending the color scheme, flowing through. Just occupying this space of mine brings me a special sort of self-satisfaction. I sit and reminisce about the times my mother and I painted the walls because I‘d always draw and write on them, or stare at the pictures that I placed in their own particular order reflecting my own style and habits. Piles of novels that lay beside my bed, such an easy give away of my late night enjoyments. My love for beauty hides in every picture, every corner, even down to the dainty frill on my soft, floral comforter. Burgundy, my most adored color hides beneath my feet, dancing across my floor. Everything right in its place, just where I had left it, telling the story of the perfection I crave. Each breath I take fills me with the sweet scent of lavender. Along the side, you can feel the smell of fresh April showers.
I think my room describes me as a person in many ways, from the way I've matured, my favorite colors, to the innocence of my personality. I hope this has touched your senses as much as it has mine. Though everything here in my room may be material, it still offers me the effect of being calm and at ease.

  • please proofread this essay -

    Great use of vocabulary words! I'm not sure about the conclusion though, could've been better I think.
    Overall though, good job!

  • English -

    This is not an essay. It looks like an advertisement from some travel agency's brochure.

    Essays are usually 4-5 paragraphs long or more. They include an introductory paragraph that has the thesis statement in it, most often at the end. Then there are usually 2 or 3 or more internal paragraphs which include all the supporting details to prove the thesis statement true. At the end, there's a conclusion paragraph.

    And remember that sentences need to have subjects AND VERBS in them. If you need help constructing complete sentences, please let us know.

  • please proofread this essay -

    Jackson -- this isn't a bad essay, but it's too bad you didn't write it.

  • please proofread this essay -

    I hope someone wasn't trying to do plagarism or just plain fool us

Respond to this Question

First Name
School Subject
Your Answer

Similar Questions

  1. Please proofread my essay

    Could you please proofread my agumentive essay. Thanxs! Who Is An American?
  2. *English-Please Proofread my essay ASAP*

    Could you please proofread my argumentive essay, check for fragments and prounoun use. Thanks! Is Beauty Really Skin Deep?
  3. Please Proofread my Essay

    I've made plenty of changes to my essay. Could you please proofread it?
  4. Please proofread my essay

    Could you please proofread my essay. Please check pronoun usage,fragments, a better title and better thesis. Here is my prompt: 1. Does the US need to reduce its dependence on Middle Eastern oil?
  5. English

    i need help finding the themes of this essay. i know that 1 possible theme is about losing something when you learn something. But my teacher said there was another theme on " the importance to look in-dept" i'm not sure what he meant …
  6. grammar

    What are the nouns in this sentence? 1. Every section of the United States has scenes of natual beauty. 2. Southern coastal cities are proud of their sandy beaches. 3. The citizens of every state take pride in ther charm of their won
  7. Synonyms

    Hey, Im doing a short essay and my teacher wants me to use high level words, so not simple ones. Is there a good site which I can translate my simple words to those high level ones. I know that I can go search in a dictionary, but …
  8. English

    I am writing an 5 paragraph essay on being stranded on an island. I chose a narrative. How does this look so far?
  9. Social Studies

    If someone could check my answers that would be great :) 1. What did the effect of the breakup on the Soviet Union have on Cubans?
  10. Writing Classifying Sentence Structures

    label each of the following sentences simple, compound, complex, or compound-complex 1. Israel is also a nice place to visit. <-- SIMPLE SENTENCE 2. Because the country lies next to the Mediterranean Sea, the climate is very temperate. …

More Similar Questions