English, about my essay

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Hi, thanks for your kind reply. I am following MLA format, except some parts need to be underlined ("Welcome" IRRI) -> IRRI has to be underlined, but this site doesn't have underlines, i think. My teacher told me that what I did was write, so that's ok.

English is my second language. Could you please tell me again why the parts you pointed out are wrong?

To accomplish their mission, they dedicate their time to grow rice that does not need much water, create nutritious rice, and develop methods that can produce more rice. It is their firm belief that this will thus decrease diseases, poverty and starvation.

Is that ok? I tried to fix some parts.
But then I still don't see why "get them occupied" is wrong. Could ypu please tell me? And when I post essays here, it is because I don't have anyone to read my essays since both my parents are not English speakers. I would very much appreciate if you could patiently and kindly read through my whole essay and point out some mistakes. THank you so much!

  • English, about my essay -

    First of all -- here's what you need to know and do about MLA citations:
    --------------------
    You need to have each source of information cited in TWO places:

    1. the Works Cited page that is placed after the last page of your paper, and
    2. in parentheses in the text of your paper, immediately after the quotation or paraphrase.

    For example, this would go on the Works Cited page (with proper indentation for the second and following lines):

    Du Bois, W.E.B. The Souls of Black Folk. Chicago, 1903. Project Bartleby. Ed. Steven van Leeuwen. Dec. 1995. Columbia U. 2 Dec. 2003
    <www.cc.columbia.edu/acis/bartleby/dubois/>.

    ... and this would go immediately after the quotation or whatever:
    (Du Bois)

    The information in parentheses in the text needs to be as brief as possible. That's why there's a Works Cited page โ€“ for all the details of the listing.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~

    Here's a good place for information on citing in MLA format:
    (Broken Link Removed)

    Hold your cursor over the words CITING SOURCES in the left column and then click on whatever type of source you need help with. Many examples will show up. You will get two examples for each type of reference โ€“ one for the Works Cited page and one for the parenthetical (in-text) citation.

    You can also see what a Works Cited page looks like โ€“ click on Sample Works Cited in the left column.
    ----------------------

    Second, parallel structure:
    "...to grow rice that does not need much water, to create nutritious rice, and to develop ..."
    If you don't put "to" in those two extra places, then there's confusion about what the subjects of "create" and "develop" are.

    Third, your correction of "decrease" is good.

    Fourth, you should avoid using any form of "get" unless there's no other word that will work. In this sentence, you should use the word "keep" in its place. The word "get" doesn't make sense in this sentence.

    My suggestion that you have someone else read your paper aloud to you still goes. It's one of the best ways to find your own errors.

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