English/Grammar (please... extremely important)

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Dear _______________:

I attempted to contact ____________ to call out and the line was occupied. My phone service was interrupted later on that day, and therefore. I was unable to speak to a member of management regarding my situation. Without a valid excuse, I will be deemed a no call/no show. However, my girlfriend caught the flu and was instructed to stay at home and not return to work until today. Unfortunately, her flu took another toll on her today. Her doctor approved her an extension on her medical excuse slip. I had no choice but to stay at home and care for her since she practically was not able to do anything. Enclosed is the initial excuse slip the expired today, however, her doctor had explained to her that he will provide her with an excuse slip that includes today’s date in addition to all pertinent forms required for medical leave of absence by ____________. Once she receives all of her forms, I will able to provide copies to excuse my no call/no show.

May I have someone proofread this paragraph and perhaps suggest on an ending sentence. I will truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.

  • English/Grammar (please... extremely important) -

    Seems good to me. This is made up, right, not for a real letter? If it is for a real letter, you should make it more serious and professional.

    But, otherwise, it's good! I don't think you really need a introduction sentence. Just getting right into it is good enough.

  • English/Grammar (please... extremely important) -

    It is a serious letter. Please suggest.

  • English/Grammar (please... extremely important) -

    Your letter is full of excuses that I wouldn't accept.

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