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Business English

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I have to write a short argument to my supervisor to convince her to accept the changes that will improve productivity in my office.
Background
Your office manager, Daisy Miller retired three months ago. You were promoted to office manager for DMD Company where you began as a clerk 10 years ago. The company has been in business for 50 years
And currently employs 125 people. You manage four employees: Jack Snyder, Rachel King, Bonnie Disselkoen, and Molly Smakoski. Your office provides secretarial support for the eight members of the executive team. You employees have been assigned to the members of the team as follows:
Jack is assigned to Ralph Cajun and Jessica Hilo
Rachel is assigned to Melanie Razor and David Thomson
Bonnie is assigned to Samuel Daily and Frank Daily
Molly is assigned to Larry Miller and Victor Potack
You’ve noticed that Jack and Rachel frequently have nothing to do, while Bonnie and Molly usually require overtime hours at least twice a month. You learn that Melanie Razor and Jessica Hilo share a full-time administrative assistant who completes most of their secretarial work. On the other hand, Samuel and Frank Daily have no administrative assistant and Larry Miller’s assistant works only 15 hours a week.

You decide it's time to write a short argument to convince your supervisor, Liz Jakowski, whom you don’t know well, to introduce changes that will improve productivity in your office.
Brain storm, use clustering or webbing, and freestyle to explore possible solutions to the uneven productivity in your office. First assume that the DMD Company is similar one as a medical office assistant. Make up facts and figures and analysis related to the following questions:

In what way am I uniquely qualified to persuade Liz to make the changes I recommend?
How does the uneven productivity impact my office?
Employee morale and the company’s finances?
How long has this situation been going on?
What are two or three solutions that might improve the efficiency of my office? What does each solution involve and how much work, time and money is required to introduce that change? How exactly does each change solve the problem? Which is the best solution at this time? Why?
How do I convince my supervisor that this change is cost effective and also convince my employees that it’s necessary and to their benefit?
Organize your prewriting according to the three paragraphs you must write Mark related information and choose what is most important for your audience don’t worry about complete sentences – just list, outline or map your information.

Paragraph1 problem definition mad impact on your office and the company.
Paragraph 2 One best solution you recommend and reasons for that specific change; contrast with the other possible solutions.
Paragraphs Benefits to your office, your supervisor, and the company
Draft your three paragraphs using complete sentences that logically flow from one to the next and that are focused and unified. Remember each paragraph must be 8 -15 sentences
Paragraph 1 Define and analyze the heart of the problem your solution targets,]... Provide facts figures and explanation and clarify the problem for your supervisor Describe how it affects efficiency and the company the reasons it is a problem to be concerned with your purpose is to persuade your supervisor that a problem exits
Paragraph 2 introduce changes that you recommend and explain the way to solve it solves the problem as defined in paragraph 1 Summarize other solutions you consider but discarded and explain why you have focused on this particular situation The purpose of this is to persuade your supervisor your choice is most effective and appropriate for the situation your company in solving the problem.
Paragraph 3 Describe the specific benefits your office, your supervisor and the company will reap from this solution. Your purpose is to convince your supervisor that the solution will transform your office from inefficient and unmotivated to well organized and productive

Each paragraph should have only one topic all other sentence should support the topic sentence

Here what I have for brainstorming:
Values to consider:
50 years of company’s name establishment
I have ten years of experience working for DMD Company.
Understanding total quality management will help me convince my supervisor.
Evaluate how productivity contributed to the achievement of the company
Summary of the problem:
Jack and Rachel frequently have nothing to do.
Bonnie and Molly work overtime at least twice a month to finish the job.
Melanie and Jessica have full-time secretary who finishes most of their work.
Samuel and Frank have no secretary.
Larry have a part time secretary who works only 15 HR.
The problem has been going on for at least two months.
Summary of the consequences:
If the problem persists, it will effect the company’s reputation and quality production.
Clients complaint, thus may lose potential accounts.
The company may suffer from financial difficulty.
Unmotivated employees to work as a team.
Unhealthy working environment and relationships within the company’s employees.
Summary of possible solutions:
To optimize the employees morale to work as a team.
To contribute tasks among employees.
To Plan and control assignments of tasks and the priority of these tasks.
To facilitate mutual sharing of knowledge and skills.
Melanie and Jessica’s assistant could be assigned other duties.

  • Business English -

    Those are great ideas!!

    Now, your next step is to organize them and present a clear and concise proposal to your supervisor explaining what changes you want in your office -- and how you think these changes will benefit the company.

  • Business English -

    Thank you Ms. Sue for giving me the boost. If you may help me understand the hierarchal structre of a company to better contribute tasks among employees based on their similar skills and background. please if you may expalain to me what will be the position of the 4 employees whom I'm managing. I'm really trying hard to write a good essay.
    I will greatly appreciate your respond.

    Sharon

  • Business English -

    Help Please, it's my first time using you system today. I am not very good at Business English. I
    have to write a short argument to my supervisor to convince her to accept the changes that will improve productivity in my office.
    Background
    Your office manager, Daisy Miller retired three months ago. You were promoted to office manager for DMD Company where you began as a clerk 10 years ago. The company has been in business for 50 years
    And currently employs 125 people. You manage four employees: Jack Snyder, Rachel King, Bonnie Disselkoen, and Molly Smakoski. Your office provides secretarial support for the eight members of the executive team. You employees have been assigned to the members of the team as follows:
    Jack is assigned to Ralph Cajun and Jessica Hilo
    Rachel is assigned to Melanie Razor and David Thomson
    Bonnie is assigned to Samuel Daily and Frank Daily
    Molly is assigned to Larry Miller and Victor Potack
    You’ve noticed that Jack and Rachel frequently have nothing to do, while Bonnie and Molly usually require overtime hours at least twice a month. You learn that Melanie Razor and Jessica Hilo share a full-time administrative assistant who completes most of their secretarial work. On the other hand, Samuel and Frank Daily have no administrative assistant and Larry Miller’s assistant works only 15 hours a week.

    You decide it's time to write a short argument to convince your supervisor, Liz Jakowski, whom you don’t know well, to introduce changes that will improve productivity in your office.

    In what way am I uniquely qualified to persuade Liz to make the changes I recommend?
    How does the uneven productivity impact my office?
    Employee morale and the company’s finances?
    How long has this situation been going on?
    What are two or three solutions that might improve the efficiency of my office? What does each solution involve and how much work, time and money is required to introduce that change? How exactly does each change solve the problem? Which is the best solution at this time? Why?
    How do I convince my supervisor that this change is cost effective and also convince my employees that it’s necessary and to their benefit?
    Many thanks

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