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Hi, can someone proofread this for me. I'll appreciate it. Thanks in advance.

The practicum site I selected is an elementary school. I will be assisting a first grade teacher during the semester. I will be helping her with her students and with other teacher responsibilities. I selected this practicum site because being a first grade teacher is one of my career options. One of the expectations I have for my involvement at the practicum site is to learn how children develop mentally in school. In first grade, students will be learning how to read, write, and how to solve mathematical problems. I am interested in those aspects of education. I would like to see how they learn and build knowledge. I want to observe their cognitive skills as well as their social skills. For instance, I would like to observe how children create friends and how they interact with one another. I also expect to observe patterns in children’s behaviors and attitudes associated to their grade level. Another expectation is to observe how children learn best and how teachers keep their students motivated to learn. In addition, I expect to learn the factors that are involved with teaching young children.

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    I imagine my training in the field of Human Development will come into play in the work I will be doing, because I will be working with a group of people who will be developing into future adults. I imagine the course I took called, Human Development 307I Childhood through Adolescents, will come into play in this practicum experience because it will help me understand the cognitive and social skills children have around the age of 6 to 7 years old. My knowledge from this class will also help me understand how children develop in other aspects as well. I imagine the current course I am taking called, Child Development and Family Studies 411 Individual Child Study and Guidance, will also help me understand children better. In addition, I imagine that the Human Development course 470 will give me the tools I need to be a good professional and succeed with my career goals in the future.

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    I expect my involvement at this site will assist me by giving me an insider perspective of what it is like to be a first grade teacher and what skills it takes to be a good teacher. It will help me get some insight of the skills, attitudes, knowledge, and behaviors that are involved with being an elementary school teacher. I also expect to learn how the teacher interacts with her students and with the students’ parents. I would like to know what the teacher does to help those students who are struggling and what the teacher does to make learning fun for young children. In addition, I want to learn how to be a good teacher assistant. I expect to gain a better understanding of how teachers manage their time, prepare their lectures or school activities, how they handle paper work, interact with other school personnel, and how they handle problematic social behaviors among children.

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    I am hoping to gain experience in working with children and also becoming a good professional from this experience. I hope to show some growth in working with others or independently. For instance, I hope to be able to adapt to new situations or changes during this experience and to be able to work with others productively. I hope to find out what my strengths and weaknesses are from this experience and to see whether teaching would be an option for me to do in the future. I would like to be able to learn how to communicate well with co-workers and children. I want to build confidence in my working abilities and I hope to develop good working skills.

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    In this experience I hope to help assist the teacher and make the children’s learning environment more productive. By helping the teacher she can have more time to teach her students while I help her do some of her responsibilities as a teacher. For instance, I can help her by checking homework and grading tests or checking other student assignments. Also, I can help her set up the children’s art work on the walls or windows in the classroom or help her with other class projects. In addition, I can help the teacher with the children who are struggling by tutoring them in small groups or individually with their math, reading, and writing assignments. I can also serve as a good role-model to the children because I like to help children think positively about themselves and I also like to motivate them to learn. I hope to help the children develop confidence with their math, reading and writing skills because I believe confidence can help them overcome challenges. I would like to help guide children to make good choices and to behave appropriately in school. In addition, I hope to help children who are experiencing emotional problems with their peers or with their families and help them cope with their emotions in a positive and healthy manner. Overall, I hope to be a good teacher assistant.

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    My first goal is to finish the 90 hours of work by the deadline by ensuring that I get a minimum of 6 hours of work completed for each week during this semester. My second goal is to learn more about this career and to discover whether teaching is something I want to pursue in the future. By going to work every week and making observations at this practicum site I will be able to determine whether this is a career option that I would like to pursue. My third goal is to learn how I can become a good professional. I expect to learn how to be a better professional by listening to the class discussions and reading the books that are required for class. I also, expect to learn to be a better professional through my practicum experience. My fourth goal is to earn an “A” in this class. I plan to invest more time into completing my work to the best of my abilities. I will work hard to ensure I get my assignments completed by the deadlines. I will participate in class and read all the readings. Overall, I will try my best to stay on track with this class.

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    OK.... first... too many words, not enough organization.

    First paragraph. Tell what you have chosen and why.... get rid of repetition.

    Second paragraph - Your training applicable to this choice. Do not use the word "imagine". Say, I believe this course will be useful because......
    Be succinct

    Third paragraph...What you expect to gain from this experience. Stick to this topic and to the point.

    Fourth paragrph... Those attributes that you can bring to a classroom that you believe to useful, unique.

    Fifth paragraph....This is where you summarize... Your first sentence kills the who emphasis of the essay. You are trying to sell yourself as a person who would really love to learn to teach well. The first sentence talks about "time" not people. Yes, you have to learn to organize time so that you can do what needs to be done efficiently. But the purpose is the students... This paragraph is your chance to sell yourself and what you can add to a classroom and what you want to find out about teaching.

    Please rewrite and repost...we are looking forward to your becoming "one with us" in the teaching field.

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    MY RESPONSE WILL JUST BE TO THE FIRST PARAGRAPH. USE IT TO MODIFY THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS. TO PROVIDE MORE VARIATION IN YOUR WRITING, TRY TO REDUCE SOME OF THE "I" STATEMENTS. FOR EXAMPLE, MY FIRST SENTENCE COULD HAVE BEEN, "I WILL RESPOND TO JUST THE FIRST PARAGRAPH."

    The practicum site I selected is an elementary school. I will be assisting a first grade teacher during the semester. I will be DELETE "I WILL BE...." AND INSERT COMMA. helping her with her students and with DELETE "WITH" other teacher responsibilities. I selected this practicum site "THIS PRACTICUM SITE WAS SELECTED..." because being a first grade teacher is one of my career options. One of the expectations I have DELETE "I HAVE." for my involvement at the practicum site is to learn how children develop mentally in school. In first grade, students will be learning how to read, write, and how to solve mathematical problems. I am interested in those aspects of education. DELETE PREVIOUS SENTENCE. I would like to see how they learn and build knowledge. I want to observe DELETE PREVIOUS PHRASE AND PUT IN ", OBSERVING...." their cognitive skills as well as their social skills. For instance, I would like to observe DELETE "I WOULD LIKE TO OBSERVE...." how DO children create friends and how DO they interact with one another? I also expect to observe patterns in children’s behaviors and attitudes associated to their grade level. Another expectation is to observe DELETE PREVIOUS PHRASE. how DO children learn best COMMA and how DO teachers keep their students motivated to learn? In addition, I expect to learn DELETE "I EXPECT TO LEARN..." the factors that are involved with teaching young children WILL BE EXPLORED.

    I HOPE THIS HELPS. THANKS FOR ASKING.

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    Thank you both for your suggestions. I appreciate it. I reposted the essay.

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