English

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Hello,
I have to write a an essay that begins with a speech discussing the role of mate selection process in testing the compatibility of potential mates. I don't know if my methaphor is okay?

Marriage can be described as the hardest class one will ever take. It will require continuous time and effort to make it successful. Like in any other class, marriage requires prerequisites. These prerequisites include our criteria for our potential mate selection that often involve physical attractiveness, age, race, faith, and proximity. According to the theories on mate selection, researchers have developed the idea that most people select their mates according to the factors they have most in common.

  • English -

    People are usually looking for someone to compliment each others' style, beliefs, and interests. For instance, a person may probably look for someone who has the same cultural background as them. They may also consider looking for similarities in the types of values they may have. A person may also consider whether their potential mate has compatible physical attributes like them. They may also look for potential mates that are close to their proximity; mates that they see more often. They may also look at their partner’s socioeconomics status and their religion beliefs; in order to find compatible similarities among them.

    I feel unsatisfied with this paragraph. I'm using "they and also" too many times, how can I make this sentence read more smoothly? I'll appreciate your suggestions.

  • English (read this 2nd) -

    Hi, I sent you my previous rough draft of this paragraph. You can ignore that one because I edit it and added more to it.

    People are usually looking for someone to compliment their style, beliefs, and interests. For example, a person may probably look for someone who has the same cultural background as them because he or she is looking for someone who understands and has some experience with his or her culture. That person will most likely look for similar cultural values as well. He or she may also look for potential mates that are close to his or her proximity; mates that he or she sees more often. He or she may also look at his or her partner’s socioeconomics status and religion beliefs; in order to find compatible similarities among them.

  • English -

    According to Jeff Lewis, individuals need know themselves first before going through the mate selection process. Individuals need to know what their needs are in a relationship. They also need to know if marriage is something they want to pursue. They need to know what their expectations are in a partner; focusing on realistic expectations. Once the individual knows who he or she is or what he or she wants, the next step is to know who their potential mate is. Knowing their potential mate’s expectations in a relationship and their thoughts on marriage are important factors in the mate selection process because it searches for compatibility in their thoughts about marriage and their expectations.

  • English -

    "I have to write a an essay that begins with a speech discussing the role of mate selection process in testing the compatibility of potential mates. I don't know if my methaphor is okay? "

    I'm not sure if you are expected to write a speech or quote from someone else's speech.

    Your comparison of marriage to a school class is a good one.

    Read the following version of your paragraph. You may find that my changes (in CAPS) make it a tiny bit more easy to read.

    "Marriage can be described as the hardest class one will ever take. It REQUIRES continuous time and effort to make it successful. Like in any other class, marriage HAS prerequisites. These prerequisites include LEARNING WHAT our criteria ARE for mate selection. THIS MAY involve physical attractiveness, age, race, faith, and proximity. According to (WHOSE?) the theories on mate selection, researchers have developed the idea that most people select their mates according to the factors they have most in common."

    I cannot proof your entire piece, but you have a good start here. The idea is a good one. You only need to polish.

  • English -

    Thank you that helps a lot because I wasn't sure if comparing marriage to a class was a good idea. Thanks for proofreading the beginning part of my essay.

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