college essay

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Yeah...The Multiculturalism is very appropriate to my idea. What I worried was, is it sounds too teminological? Anyway, now I use it.
On the application form, there is only 9 lines that I can write this paragraph. I think only fit in about 100 words,so I do not know whether I can add some experience on it. I have another essay which needs 2-3 pages, maybe I can write something on it, but the point is, I did not have any experience helping others from other country, since the area I lived most of them are native people. Thus, in this paragraph, maybe I can only say something general. What do you think?
Here is the question,
Please choose one of the commitments that you listed above (activity, interest, or work experience) and provide a short description of its importance to you. Include why that commitment could be relevant to your student experience in college.
Did I write the right things for the answer???
Here is my new paragraph:
I was glad that I had an opportunity to be an interpreter in Howard County Expo. I feel lucky that I can speak two different languages -- Chinese and English. Was Born in China and lived there for a long time made me familiar with Chinese culture. After came to America and study here for one year, eventually I am able to adapt to the new culture, too. Therefore, I can bring this advantage to Penn State since schools now have become more and more multicultural. Many students from other countries may face hardship in adjusting to the new environment when they first come, so I can be of assistance to them. At the same time, I can spread the idea of multiculturalism to the Penn State community, and make it not only a university, but also a world village.

Thank you for helping!


I was glad that I had an opportunity to be an interpreter at the Howard County Expo. I feel lucky that I can speak two different languages -- Chinese and English. I was born in China and lived there for a long time, an experience that made me familiar with Chinese culture. After I came to America and studied here for one year, eventually I have been able to adapt to the new culture, too. Therefore, I can bring this advantage to Penn State since schools now have become more and more multicultural. Many students from other countries may face hardship in adjusting to the new environment when they first come, so I can be of assistance to them. At the same time, I can spread the idea of multiculturalism to the Penn State community, and make it not only a university, but also a world village.

Nice!

OH really??
Thank you!

....So I can start my 2-3 page essay now! Yes!

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